Gerko's Weblog

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

A little under two hours of 2003 left. Hum.

Oh well ... other news : New shiny PC has arrived. On the 20th. AMD 3000+ Processor, 512 Megs RAM, 80 + 20 Gigs HD, 15" TFT screen, Geforce FX 5600.

WinXP Professional and Office XP gotten through brother's school for 20 bucks or so. Legally (!)

Shiny.

Not really 'my' PC, though. More like my siblings' and mom's PC. I get to supervise it during the weekends, and solve any problems that arise due to their computer illiteracy, but I don't get to take it with me. Not that I mind, I don't think I have pushed my own PC (1.6Ghz, 256 Mb RAM, GeForce2) to it's limits yet. Though it could use a clean up after two years.

My brother especially is happy with this new thing. He's been meaning to play new games for a while now, and he just went on a new game binge. He wants to play my copy of Temple of Elemental Evil, has been playing Morrowind that came for free with the graphics card. Also, a few days ago, he bought Half-Life. Why ? because he's excited about Half-Life 2 that's going to come out sometime next year. Let's completely skip over the fact that Half-Life would have worked perfectly on the old PC. But I don't mind at all, since I had never played it before, either. It's legendary, but I never played it. Playing it now, though, and it is pretty good. Also, about twice as far into the game as my brother. YES ! I am still the better gamer ! ha-ha. 0wn3d.

Rewind :

"[...]an ACC, a SACD, and a KV. [...]"
An Arthur C. Clarke, a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and a Kurt Vonnegut.

Finished Timequake by Vonnegut, and it was good. Weird, it being half fiction and half real life anecdotes. But good. Very nice. I think I'll try and find some more stuff of this guy. Slaughterhouse Five is supposedly good, but I can only find the shortened version of it. And I despise shortened versions. Hah !

I've been trying to start on A Study in Scarlet, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The very first Sherlock Holmes novel. But there's an intoduction of 67 pages at the beginning, and an explaining text of about 80 pages at end. Together, that makes about 20 pages more than the actual story is worth. But no worries, I'll get started on it. Maybe tonight, even.

And then there's the Motherload. Coming in at 1100+ pages, is a collection of short stories by Arthur C. Clarke. Starting with his earliest published stories, and going on from there. Some of the earlier ones are an ... well ... how should I put this ... unpleasant read. It doesn't flow nicely, or is just too wild//chaotic. But it's getting better. Not that far into it yet, so I'd better go read some more of those stories, too.

I'll re-update the book counter as soon as I feel like it. And not a moment sooner.

Sinterklaas

Well, hum. Was nice enough, I think. Been a while ago already now, and nothing too extraordinary happened. Got a nice little game called The Temple of Elemental Evil, but I haven't been able to get past character creation because of creative difficulties. (Such a "Gerko" thing to do, really. Not playing the game because one can't decide with what kind of characters to play it with. Horrible. Hah !)

Sunday, December 28, 2003

For all bloody excuses I could write for not blogging earlier and skipping over oh-so many subjects (I do intedn to come back to 'em soon) ... here's a short little message :

Gerko's going swimming. I haven't been to a pool for years. I haven't swam for ages ! So remember, If I don't come back, I probably drowned.

Friday, December 05, 2003

So, I kinda wanted to blog some more stuff, but I'm not really sure what about.

PC at home-home is near-death. This weekend, it's going to be put out of it's misery and salvaged for useable parts. That means no internet for Gerko until sunday evening. Will he survive ? ... probably. I went to the library yesterday, and got my hands on an ACC, a SACD, and a KV.
(What are those ? Oh, hush. Just wait for the book counter when I update it after the weekend)

There's a Nanowrimo gathering in Utrecht next sunday, but I don't think I'll make it. Quite a bunch of people I've gotten to know a bit over MSN have said there weren't going either, and it's bloody expensive to take the train there and all. Also, long trip and ... *shrugs*

Hum. Heading for home-home now. "Sinterklaas" tomorrow. Well, actually today, but we celebrate it tomorrow since my sister won't be home-home till saturday. Will fill you in about all that, too, when I get back online next time.

Saturday, November 29, 2003

Back on my way home. Spend a nice afternoon//evening at my grandparents's.
Think that might've been the first time I ever visited them on my own, and it was ... well, a little odd. But good nontheless. So we had some chats, dinner, and I also watched a bit of the movie Notting Hill together with my aunt. Which was nice, too.

(Realisation that handwriting sucks. I blame the train for not having a proper place to write on and for rocking so much. Also might not be trying to write nicely because the NS has provided me with such a lovely scapegoat.)

As for my thoughts on going to Leiden next year ... I'm still bloody clueless. The "Practical Courses" class this afternoon didn't help too much with providing me an anwser, but one of the possible courses of that one does seem to offer something a bit more 'meaty' - technical. Though I'd have to say I'm already quite capable of about half they'd want to teach me in that set-thingie, too. Well, maybe not half, but, like, one third, at least. (Computers, webpages, databases, programming. Sorta) ... So it's an interesting choice. Worst part about it is that is it a "Practical Course", and thus somewhat aimed at the job market. And the described role in those occupations would be pretty close to the things I do NOT want to do for a living. Descriptions that get close to some of the reasons why I quit Electrical Engineering.

... Okay. Maybe it's not that bad. I can see it happen. Also, there are 52 possible choice options, and this is just one of 'em. I really could invision myself here, following this. But as I said, I'm having a bit of a harder time imagining myself sitting here with my heart in it. And I'm going to need that.

So I wonder if taking all that trouble for that Colloquium Doctum is worth it if I decide that this course is "not for me", either, after another half year or so.

Just switched trains. Should be set for a while again. Where was I ? Oh yes. I'm on my way to Leiden, and it has practically nothing to do with "the girl half way across the street". Gerko's going to an "Open day" at the Leiden University, to see if the "English Language and Culture" course they have there is something I might be interested in.

-Okay, that's bull. I am interested in it. That's basicly the entire point. To see if my interest in it justified. ~blah-blah-blah - you know the deal. There's a college (class ? - example lesson) that starts at 10:30, so you can see why I'm itchy about being late. If all goes well (and it has, so far), I might still make it. If not ... well, bummer, but at least I'll still be on for the general "Well now we're going to you what this study is all about"-thing, which starts at 11:15. If I can't make that; well, curse you, NS, for you messed up above and beyond the call of duty. But as I said, things seeem to be going alright for now. Just gotta keep my fingers crossed.

[Imagine really ugly handwriting]
Did you know it's a real pain writing while having your fingers crossed? - it sucks, so I'm like going to uncross 'em now in a bit.
(No spelling errors though, Just fugly writing which is different from typing with crossed fingers, which produces loads of typos. HAH
[/End of really ugly handwriting]

Back to normal now. There was also an entry I wanted to write about how my handwriting changed, a while ago, almost at once. I think it reverted to it's old self again now, though. With the exception of the 'rounder' W's and Y's.

Well, here I am. I made it. Just in time, too. Well, I was one minute later, I suppose, but there were a few otheres who arrives at the same time. So there. No problem.

What could be considered a problem is that I still don't know if this is what I want. I'm not *truly* interested in any of the main fields this course offers. And well ... most would be pretty tough on me. Nothing I couldn't learn, ofcourse,but I doubt if my heart would be really in it.

Good grief, did I just waste €30 on a train ticket ? - Well, it's not that bad ... But still. Annoying.

There's another 'class' or so in ... 10-15 minutes. Not something I'm truly interested in either, but it might help and give another bit of a push. One side of me says to just do it, while the other side screams out and asks for something a bit more 'meaty'. Exciting parts parts I could sink my teeth in (Something "Beta" sided, probably) There's some "Okay, Now We're Going To Tell You How Computers Work" thing in the second half of the first year, but that's bound to teach me nothing new.

But if not this ... then what else ?

In effect, I did not learn much. ... Okay, that's not really true. I did get a lot better view on what "English Language and Culture" is, but it didn't really change my, rather apathic, opinion. (But I already said that. Well. Let's see. Hum. What ELSE. uh ... ~flargh)

Five more minutes left beofre I can go to that room.

So, what else is new ?
let's see.

• My Nanowrimo project crashed, burned and lies in a coma at about 3600 words. Might pick it up again sometime*.


• I became a Guest Logger over at Liever Eigenwijs, but with only one entry to date. The most amazing thing about it is that I wrote it that entry in dutch, and that any future entries there by me will be in dutch, too.
• The second most amazing thing about it is that Larissa put up some big puppy eyes and asked me if she could guest-blog here on my blog. To return the favor. This was scary ! This blog has been a personal thing. Sometimes very personal, and now someone else wants to get in and contribute some entries. But even though we don't know each other that well yet, I do believe Larissa is a very nice person, and that there is no need to fear anything. Also, really, how could I refuse a request made by such a pretty face ?
  [note to self : have not seen face in question]
• I failed my second driver's test. But I already wrote about that, didn't I ? Yes, yes I did. Did I also write about recieving a letter (or letters, actually) from June that very same day ? Don't think I did. Anyway, that was pretty nice, and I suppose it's my turn again to write her something. Said she was moving, though, so I'm going to have to wait for her new adress.


• Oh yes. I've been learning Japanese. Well, a bit, anyway. There's this game over at http://lrnj.com, and it teaches you Japanese. It's pretty fun. (Learning the language, not the game, which as far as games go is pretty sucky)
  So, I have a fair grasp of both 'alphabets', Katakana and Hiragana, now. And I know about ~250 Kanji, which are words. Or half-words. Or ... anyway, pictures with meaning. Katakana and Hiragana don't have meaning, only sounds.
  
  Still need a lot of practice, though. Also, while I can read the Katakana and Hiragana, and thus somewhat figure out how some written things are pronounced, I have no idea of the meaning of such words. As for the Kanji, I have no idea how those are pronounced, I merely know their meaning.
  So I'm not going to be able to read anyhthing coherent, let alone speak any Japanese merely by playing this game. Still, it's very fun. Especially the explanations on some the kanji, telling what it means and how it 'came to be'.

Well, wahooey ~! Overslept this morning, so now I'm in a train about 30 minutes later. Going for some stops and switches though, so that's going to suck, and I just hope I might still be on time. It ... should be possible, though unlikely.

So, another hand-written entrym hum ? It's abeen a while, surely.I started on a few before, but finished none. (And thus never uploaded any, either.) One I did almost finish was one at a party//'family gathering'. Early summer, three of my grandmother's (Dad's side) grandchildren graduated High School that month (including my sister), so it called for a celebration of sorts. It was nice enough, and maybe I need to topy over that entry and put it up anyway, even if it's 6 months overdue. Some other entries were going to be about apologizing for not blogging, sending June another package, and the proof on my theory of having Magical Facial Hair of Depresssion, which has the amazing ability to depress me up until the moment I shave it off.

Anyway, Gerko's in a train right now, heading for ... Leiden ! But alas, I won't visit Elise, since she decided to come home-home this weekend. (Why? Why !? - I still haven't seen her room since she moved internally. Which was ... uh ... a long time ago.)

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

I sort-of promised Elise I'd write a blog entry yesterday. I didn't.

Yesterday's excuse was Stupid Donkey Star Trek. I've been following the 'new' Enterprise series since they started broadcasting it on dutch TV recently. It sucks almost as much as a vacuum cleaner, and blows even more. But still, I watch it. Why ? I'm not sure.

I was about to not-blog today, too. Today's excuse would have been along the lines of myself being a complete loser who can't do anything right. (*ding-ding-ding*, you guessed correctly, Gerko failed his second driver's test, too.) But then I suddenly ended up here around 10 past 10, PM, with nothing to do. I'll go hit the sack soon, but I thought I'd write some stuff down here first. So here it is.

*sigh*. I'm much more upset about failing this time than last time. Still not very upset, mind you. Just in comparison. Flargh.

What I did wrong ? Well, I did less wrong than last time, that's one thing. The other ... well, I don't look far enough ahead, I don't act//react properly//quickly to most situations. Something to that effect.

Still, I know I could've done better. Heck, I have done better. So why'd I mess up and fail ? One theory is that I resist change. Somewhere, I don't want to change my life. Driving lessons are part of this life. ... Looking at the 'changes' in my life the past years, I haven't been in control over any of 'em. Near all of 'em were other people's decisions to which I just nodded and agreed with. (Going to that Day/Evening School for my HAVO. Electrical Engineering. Moving out. Dropping out. Starting driving lessons. Getting a (horribly) low paying paying job.)

But ... I don't mind. I don't mind not making my own decisions, because I ... wouldn't even know what to decide. (As has been stated before, to great lenghts.) Summed up, I am quite capable of adapting to external changes. I don't mind 'em when they come around, and can like them. On the other hand, I am incapable, or rather, unwilling to make any changes by myself.

Passing my driver's exam and getting my license would have that change, I suppose. And ... ehrm. That's why I failed ? Okay, strange theory, but not too outlandish, I'd say. A subconscious desire to not change anything. Hum. Well, flargh.

That has got to change. I am going to have to change myself, or I'll never get anywhere in this life.

*rolls eyes* Okay, so that wasn't anything we didn't know already.

BUT IT'S AN ENTRY. STOP COMPLAINING.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Back in Vlissingen for today. Still sick, but hanging in there. Heading home in half an hour again. Was just here for driving lessons this morning. It went pretty well, concerning the state of my health. Next lesson a week from now, as usual.

Anyway, Gerko started another weblog. For no other reason except to keep this one a bit clean. See, I'm going to keep you all updated on my November Project, a.k.a. the National Novel Writing Month.

http://gerkowrites.blogspot.com

It looks pretty plain (Though I like it plain). Very standard and well-known and seen everywhere nowadays, though. Fleh. I'll see. I'm in no real mood to mess with colors now. May have to mess with the font type, as it is a bit large. (Especially if it's going to hold 50,000 words). Might fiddle with it later.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Movie nice.

Going sleepies.

Argh. Tomorrow. Driving. Argh.

No matter. Sleepies first.

Sleepies nice.

I know I said I'd write about my novel-to-be, but I'm postponing that, too. Or just not going to write about it at all, and just keep you all occupied with other rants, and then make you read it yourselves once I upload my written pieces.

Anyway, a very good movie is on TV tonight. On the Belgian channel, no less. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is one of those movies everyone talked about when it came out 3 years ago, it being so very good and all that stuff. Gerko, however, once again managed to somehow miss going to the cinema to see it and all that kind of interesting stuff. All I know is that it is an asian production instead of an american one, and that it was compared with the Matrix, for some reason, because I don't think it's going to include fake realities brought upon man through machine. Probably has to do with the fancy special effects/moves/choreography. Anyway, Gerko's going to see it tonight, and with that, shorten his long, long list of "movies he still needs to see someday" by one.

As for my illness, it's still sucky, my face droops even more. But the headache is down, surely. So that's always a good thing. Also, I'm back in normal clothing since an hour or so, for the first time since friday night. I'll live through this.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Okay, what did we have ?

• General Sick Feeling
• Possible Fever
• Headache
• C-C-Cold ...
• Cough

• Running Nose and Sneezes

1. Used in indirect questions to introduce one alternative.
2. Used to introduce alternative possibilities
3. Either

1. male sheep, esp. a castrated one.

Monday, October 27, 2003

I figure it's high time for another update here. Well, as you know it, Gerko caught a pretty bad fever. Or whatever it is. Headaches, cold, and just feeling weak and sick. Oh, and since yesterday, a nasty-sounding cough, too. Started being bad friday afternoon, was worst on saturday. Still at home-home, and I hope to be fit enough to move back to my student-place-thingie tomorrow. (And go back to work wednesday.) But I guess I'll find out tomorrow, eh ?

In other news, Nanowrimo is starting to scare me just that little bit more, considering I haven't quite advanced on any of my ideas and characters yet. I had better hurry, or run into a major "Now what !?" wall halfway through the very first day. I'm starting to 'get there' with ideas about how to structure the novel, though. But not the characters. And again, no plots. AGH. Any ideas are more than welcome. (Though I suppose it'd work better if I'd write out my plans as they are so far. I'm a little pressed for time at the moment, though, as I'm going to watch TV in a couple of minutes, and after that I suppose I'll go hit the sack. So I'll postpone that to tomorrow.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Speaking of that Nanowrimo thing ...

(Who was speaking of it ? No-one ! ... Well, not at the moment. But I'm going to. ... Like, right now.)

Elise still outright refuses to join. How dare she ? ... She said she'd think about joining next year, though. ((Ooooh. Now it makes sense. She was being nice and helpful because she felt guilty about not signing up, hum ? Yes, yes, that must be it. Muahahahaha ! I have figured her out.)) (please ignore stupid rant in italics, it's not true.)

But over the course of the last week, I managed to get some other people signed up. Somehow, they're all dutch.

• Holland, (one of the) site managers of the FDA.
• Sander, from The Order, and joined the FDA not too long ago, as well.
• Some Guy I Don't Know But Replied On The Thread I Made About It Over At The Order And Said He Would Sign Up Too. I don't think he's dutch, though.
• Larissa, who somehow stumbled on this blog site thing and thought it would be cool to sign up, too. I suppose you can replace "somehow" with "through Elise's blog." We've been talking over MSN a bit, and one of these days I'm going to feel obligated to put her link in that list over there on the right.

Flargh. Haven't been feeling too well last couple of days.

Or rather, I've been okay, but not great. Mentally I'm at ease. My body's at ease, too. But way too much.

I guess it started monday afternoon, when I decided to walk home from work instead of taking the train. (See, my bike was still at the train station in Vlissingen. Not at work in Middelburg.) So that took some 1½ hours. No problem. I'd eaten my lunch that day, my stomach was a little empty, but no problem.

Once at home, I just got online and all. Did my thing, check forums, webcomics. That stuff. Time passed. Forgot to watch that new Star Trek series that evening that's on nowadays. No big loss, since this new series (Enterprise) sucks anyway. No-one was cooking that night, so I thought I'd just have some bread rolls with cheese or what-have you. Some more time passed, though. And I wasn't hungry. And so it happened that Gerko went to bed without eating.

The next morning I woke up. Headache, but calm. Could not get out of bed. Did not want to. ... Needed the calm. Or something. So I called in sick for work. BAD Gerko, I know. Still not hungry, though stomach was definatly empty. Around 14:30 decided to eat something anyway (muesli + yoghert + apple), which was some 26 hours after my previous meal. That evening, I had a mug of instant soup, and went to bed fairly early. More-or-less same story goes for yesterday. Actually, very the same, though I dragged myself out of my room for some groceries, and had some of steamed bread rolls with fillings for dinner. You know, the student food kind.

Today, it was my day off, and thus I did not need to call in sick. I had driving lessons, which went okay. Better than last time. Should be able to get there next time. Which is November 25th, by the way. Set that date today. So wish me luck in advance. Had another appointment at LétÉ, which ... well I don't think it was very helpfull. Still not hungry, but managed to get two bowls of that muesli + yoghert + apple inside of me, anyway. Might eat some more tonight, but I'm not counting on it.

Tomorrow, I decided to go back to work. I feel a bit unjustified about staying home the last two days. I mean, sure, I was sick. But not that sick.

But I had a good rest. I think I'm ready to face the music again.

Mmmmm ... music.

Hum. Hum.

Mmmm...

What to write about ?

Right. Elise has been my personal saviour last weekend.

She kind enough to borrow (though I don't think she'll ever see it back. Unless she asks, ofcourse.) me some milk, because me and my sis wanted to make lasagna, but had forgotten to buy milk. Yes, we're a very smart bunch every now and then. But, after a short MSN conversation, Elise came to the rescue and I hopped for half a minute or so and gratefully accepted that milk carton.

But if that wasn't enough, I also managed to arrive at work monday morning, only half an hour late, thanks to her. Got to drive along with her and her father, since she had to go to the train station as well that morning. So once again, I was quite grateful.

Yet she claims that there's nothing to repay, that she still somehow feels or felt that she owes me. I asked "whatever for", to which her reply was something about me messing some nights with her blog template, in a long, long forgotten past. ... *shrugs* ... You know, I liked messing with that template, you know. Heh.

Anyway. THANKS.

(And yes, I realize this is just normal stuff friends do for each other. But you know ... I didn't really have that much else to write about.)

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Okay, so that didn't go as planned.

Gerko :

• Leaves home around 20:35, walks to bus station.
• Arrives at bus station.
• Looks at schedule.
• Realizes last bus headed for the train station left an hour ago.
• Feels bummed.
• Isn't sure what to do, begins walking towards home again.
• Changes his mind.
• Has to go to train station anyway.
• Might as well walk.
• Starts to walk towards train station in the next town.
• Gets offered a ride, about 5 minutes later.
• Thankfully accepts.
• Arrives at gas station very near train station.
• Thanks driver again.
• Walks to train station.
• Arrives at the same time he would have arrived if the bus had still been going.
• Thinks this is very cool.
• Waits at train station.
• Listens to the announcer.
• Hears that no trains will be headed towards Vlissingen anymore tonight. Due to some people working on the tracks.
• Realizes there is no alternative public transport available in that direction.
• Feels bummed.
• Isn't sure what to do again.
• Decides to buy a cab ticket.
• Goes home with "Train Taxi", which is a cheaper kind of Taxi, but only goes to or from train stations.
• Arrives back home where he started around 21:45.
• Is really quite amused.

Oh, hip, hip, hurray.

Was home-home for the weekend, together with my sister. Was nice enough, even though we didn't quite get to spend all that much time together because I'm just like, this guy with an internet addiction. *rolls eyes* ... Sorry sis. I know you said I shouldn't worry about it, but ... I feel a little bad anyway. I'm sure you can imagine. Rest of the family is to Belgium for a couple of days. Having a "Vacation", or something silly like that.

But anyway, the time has come to go back to my student-place in Vlissingen. So in about half an hour or so, I'm going to leave the house, find a nice bus stop and hope a darn bus will show up to take me to the train station. At which point I'll wait for a darn train to take me to Vlissingen, where I shall find my darn bike which I parked there. It had better not be stolen or vandalized, or I'm going to be in a whole load of trouble for work tomorrow. No, walking is not really an option. I know I did it once (Walk to Middelburg, that is), but the weather was better, and [ insert excuse which is really, really good ].

I'll give a chirp back here when I get there, even though there's not a whole lot of other news to tell. Perhaps except that I don't want to. Agh ! Work. *sigh* ... WHY WHY WHY !?. Meh. Better stop whining, no good for anything.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Okay, back in action, I hope.

I'd better be able to keep up with this, since ... well, last wednesday I signed up on a rather ambitious project. And as the hours and days pass, I'm getting more excited, and more worried all the same.

You see, Gerko is not going to be available for ... well, almost anything next month. He's got a job to do, aside from his regular 8-4:30 job. Gerko is going to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, or try to do so anyway. So that means no more free time, and even more importantly : no slacking. No procrastination.

So what's all this about you, ask ? Write a novel ? And in 30 days ? Whatever for !? I'm not entirely sure, you know. But it's intrigueing. And I think it'd be good for me to actually get something done for once. So yeah.

Read all about it on NaNoWriMo.org, which stands for National Novel Writing Month. It asks you to write a 50,000 word novel in month of November. If you can manage that, you win. What you win is pretty much ... well. Self-esteem. Bragging rights. That's about it. But it's good stuff.

And I am so going to bug Elise into joining, you wouldn't believe it. Heck, if I feel up to this (NO I DON'T ! I'M DOOMED), then Elise should be able to waltz through it.

...

So ... yeah. Hum. 50,000 in 30 days. 1,667 words a day. Minimum. And I'm a slow typer. And an even slower writer. Let's not forget that I never really wrote fiction before, if you don't count those roleplaying posts I made every now and then. Also, let's not forget that I have NO PLOT, very little ideas, and really just one fleshed out character (that still needs work). And that I have a stupid job which prohibits me from working deep into the night.

But I'm not fazed. (YES I AM !) I'm just going to do it. I'm thinking about setting up another blog before I start, so you can keep up with my progress while I work on those words. Besides, the site says you don't have to write something good. Just write something. Anything. Heh. Oh man. I'm so scared. I'm doomed. I'm never going to make this. But, oh well. I'll see.

Writing this post took 14 minutes, and consists of 422 words according to MS Word. Is that enough ? AGH ! I don't know.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Oh, some other tid-bits about the job which I completely forgot to mention in all the mess :

Gerko works from 8:00 to 4:30, with one half-hour break. (and various shorter not-really-breaks-but-doing-nothing-anyway-because-there's-nothing-to-do periods) He needs to bicycle about 20-30 minutes to and fro.

4 days a week, with thursday as my day off. Which makes 32 hour weeks. Which pays just over 600 Euros a month, which is really, really crappy.

Maybe I should try to look for something else myself. Outside of this "LétÉ" company. (Ah, yes. That's what it's called. "LétÉ", after "Luctor et Emergo", which, aside from being Latin and meaning something to the effect of "I wrestle and emerge(from water)", has been the Province's "Tag Line" for some centuries. (I think, not sure. Maybe shorter) LetE mostly works with/for those mentally challenged 'misfits' of society. Not exactly a pleasing description, but true enough, so I don't know how else to say it.

Anyway, more than 600 bucks/month ought to be possible to find, right ? Right ... !?

[No excuses]

So, what has Gerko been up to ? Loads, I tell you. I almost had another entry ready about two weeks ago, but then shortly before finishing it, I had to leave the computer so I saved it as a draft. And haven't looked at it since. Reading back over it, I don't really see what I wanted to change about it anymore. Odd. Anyway, I put it up as it was.

So, for a recap of sorts :

Gerko has had a job since mid summer or so. First about a month and a half of production line work, making rooftop boxes for cars. (Eh. Plastic boxes one puts on top of cars to carry stuff in.) My co-workers were, pretty much without exception, of the mentally challenged type. And no, not the "Agh ! They're all stupid idiots !" variety. Just low IQ. Very low for some. "Stupid" and "idiot" doesn't apply, because those are more of a state of mind than relevant to one's IQ. I know my IQ is pretty high, but I can be a pretty stupid idiot at times too. (I just hope it doesn't show too often) So that doesn't fly. ... Eh, I'm just not sure how to put this without sounding offending or whatever. I think "mentally challenged" is the best I can do. So there. Depending on how high my IQ is, I think I doubled quite a few of 'em.

Work itself wasn't really that bad. Sure, it was very, very simple, but the pace was fairly low, breaks were long enough, actual working hours were pleasant. And they had about the best soup ever in the cafetaria. Well, I don't know about 'best ever', but it was self-made, and costed a mere '2 coins' a bowl. '2 coins' translates to approx. 12 cents. So that's was a very nice deal I got there. I miss that soup. Or soups, since it pretty much changed every day. Then, some 6 weeks later that was over. It had been a temporary job, no chance to prolong it. Aside from the soup, though, I wasn't sad to go.

No other job for a while. Not entirely sure how long, but a couple of weeks anyway. I got that first job through some government-funded "We put people to work" company, and got paid through them as well. So I still got paid during those weeks of not-working, as I was technically still working for 'em, just not 'doing' anything. Or something to that effect. Then, that company found me a better job. At the Province. (That's "Local Government", people) Semi-big builing, with loadsa offices. Around 220-250 people working there. Gerko gets to do the internal mail. And check the towel rolls in the toilets, and refill the paper for the copy machines. Sort, deliver and pick up mail. Apply postage to outgoing mail. My self-describing title would be something to the effect of "Mr. Mail and Miscellaneous Maintenance" ... hum. "Assistant", even. Still far from a high-profile job, but a lot more varied than the previous one. And though still not taxing on the mind, it's not exactly dulling it too much, either. Direct co-workers are mentally more apt as well. Still think I might be the smartest of the bunch there, but what's to be expected ? No real complaints, though. Hours are longer, the cafetaria is quite a bit pricier (but still within reason), and the soup's a lot 'less good' (still good, but not really comparable). Are those complaints ? I don't know. Actually getting out of bed on time every morning is still a problem, but I've been on time without hitches for a week now, so I should get by. Also, in some related to that job news ; about three weeks ago, I did something fairly stupid there, and as it turns out (quite a bit later) that it had some not-really-great repercussions. I might write more about that affair later. But from my point of view, my conscience is clear.

My apologies for the noncoherent rambles. I'd like to get more in-depth about some things, but not now. So that probably means 'never' ... but ah well. At least you're sort-of up to date on Gerko's job thing.

Friday, October 03, 2003

Okay, so there's something seriously wrong with me.

I mean, gee, didn't we know that already ? But I just re-realized it again, and perhaps figured it might be worse than I imagined.

But really, how many people do you see smiling while failing their driver's exam ? How many people do you know who have their best day in weeks on that day ? Why am I not pissed off ? Why wasn't I nervous ? (Not in the least.)

And why did I do 'okay' in the pre-exam lesson, but rather messed up the actual exam ? It certainly wasn't the nerves. It was just a 'down'. I have ups and downs like that in my capabilities all the time. Not just driving.

I figure it might be my 'split' again. It's not schizofrenia (or whatever new fangled name they thought up for it nowadays), but I do certainly have two sides. A passive and an active side. And just to make it easier, let's just call 'em that : Active and Passive. And for the sake of making me sounds stupid, let's refer to these two sides in the third person.

Passive has the upper hand most of the time. Passive isn't a bad guy. Just a little slow, checks things a couple of times even when he knows it's right. Doubts about stuff that he knows that he knows. Isn't 'afraid' to take action, but just very hesitant. Understands and feels well, though not very quick, and unable or just unwilling to act on it. Can't have real-life conversations worth donkey poo. Silent as a brick. Master Procastrinator.

And then there's Active. Active is a rarer side of me. But generally the better one. Active is a great guy. When Active is in charge ... well, there isn't much he can't do.

Sometimes Passive tries to imitate Active, but usually fails at it. I get kinda messy when I try to push Passive into action. As was more-than-evident during my exam.

Haven't found the magic formula to change into Active, though. If he's really needed though, he's always around. Somehow, (possibly through lack of nerves !?) Active didn't feel he was required during the exam.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Sometime last week, I think I was coming home from work (What !? Work ? GERKO !? What have you been not-telling us?) (Loads, I might get around to it someday, but for now, listen to this story.) I kinda accidentily stumbled upon a coffeeshop. Well, bicycled past, actually. Complete with some cartooney figure from a dutch newspaper comic known as "De Stamgasten", and a "no admittance below 18 years" sign.

Now, for those few who are unaware of our fine nation's drug policy and culture, Coffee shops in the Netherlands are places where you can buy and smoke marijuana. Or some other "soft drugs". I'm actually not in on the real know-how, since I'm a goody-two-shoes innocent white sheet of a prince in bright shining armour (yeah, right!). In any case, I don't know jack about those places, except that foreign comedians always make fun of 'em when coming around here. Which can get a little ... tiresome when it comes along the tenth plus time.

Still, I'm not a foreign comedian. So I'm free game, right ?

So after passing it, a little plan started forming in my head. It's really not much more than the basic coffee shop gag, but I suppose it's funny anyhow. I pictured myself walking inside, and ask the tender with a straight face, (in English, to add to the effect), for a Cup O' Cappuccino.

I suppose it'd work a whole lot better if I could add another 40 years to my age, though. I mean, ignorance about such cultural differences in old people is a lot more plausible and funny than in youngsters. In youngsters, it's mainly just stupid.

Hum. Perhaps I could even comment about having a such a great drug policy in this country, barring caffeine from the underaged. (Now, that's one that could only really work with an older person. *sigh*)

You know, I actually think I'm going to do that one day. I mean, give me one good reason why not ? (Aside from the possibility of getting a little high from the smoke in the atmosphere there ?) I'm seriously crazy enough. Okay, and I realize it'd probably only be funny to myself, but hey, who cares ? Hum. Okay, I got a reason. What if they do serve coffee aside from the more directly mind-influencing substances ? ... I don't like coffee.

But then again, downing one cup of not-to-tasty brownish stuff isn't too high a price to pay for a gag that should certainly entertain myself and attract the wonder and awe of my peers. (*cough* *cough* to the last part)

Thursday, September 11, 2003

New books. New bookcounter. During my absence, add another two books that I should have put up here.

Beyond Lies The Wub, Volume 1 of the collected stories of Philip K. Dick ; spanning 404 pages containing 25 short stories.

I recognised the last story in the book, "Nanny" ... Think I saw it on TV sometime .... on The Outer Limits, probably. It's been a lot of years, but there's little doubt as to it being the same thing. (Though on the for-TV version had the "Nannies" not as spherical robots, but more human-like) ...

And another bundle from Agatha Christie, containing her first three novels. The Mysterious Affair at Styles ; The Secret Adversary ; Murder on the Links, spanning a total of 649 pages.

Those were good. The first and third of those were your classical "Detective" stories, starring Hercule Poirot. The second one is more of a spy/thriller, starring Tommy and Tuppence. Aaaaaah. I really liked that one. Storyline was so-so, and I had my correct guess as to the identity of the villian rather early. (As expected, I pretty much completely botched on the 'real' detective novels. Don't worry...) But the characters ... Aaaaah ... beautiful. I really struck a liking to the main protagonists. Tommy and Tuppence are 't3h c00lies'. On their own, but they really shine in their scenes together.

When I went to the library again 'yesterday' (wednesday) to pick up some new books (Elise, I looked for BJD, but I could only find the sequel. I decided not to.) I stumbled on a stand-alone version of The Secret Adversary. Feeling already nostalgic (even though I'd only turned in the 3-novel bundle five minutes earlier) I browsed over a little favourite part almost near the very start. Imagine my shock when I found it completely missing ! The book I held in my hands was an abridged version, and half a page was reduced to three mere sentences. ... So, sure, that part wasn't important to the story, but it set the character of Tuppence oh-so-well, and was quite comical and whatnot. Witnessing this horror, I instantly vowed to try and steer clear from the evil known as an abridged version of anything for the rest of my life.

Yes, I realize this post wouldn't pass as a proper book review, not even a sucky one.

The new books are The Time Machine by H.G. Wells, a classic I hadn't gotten around to yet, and The road to Mars by Eric Idle, of former Monty Python fame.

For real-life related updates, check back here some time or other when Gerko decides to get around to writing it

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

It's official now. If I don't shave in the morning every day, I look like an unshaved bum.

It had better not get worse than this.

That is all. (for now)

Monday, August 11, 2003

I can't sleep. It's too darn hot and humid here in my room.

YARR

... Also, sorry for not posting anything more ? Fleh.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

... I wrote my last entry in 20 minutes ?

I must be picking up the pace. I just know that something of that length would have taken me at least an hour or so before I started my blog.

Go Me !

Oh, and my sister found herself a room in Breda, where she's going to the Arts Academy there after the summer.

WHEEEEEEE !

Congrats, "Liex0r", I'm happy for ya'. Now don't get too excited ... heart attacks are bad. *grin*

I'm not too up-to-date about all the details concerning this one, but it's going to be a new room, and she managed to acquire it by showing her enthusiasm for it. ... My sis, getting something done by acting enthusiastic ? ... Did I fell through a portal and end up in a parallel universe or something ?

She's currently 'housesitting' somewhere for some acquaintances for a couple of weeks, 'practising' a bit for living on her own next year. And taking care of the cats there. Which reminds me, I'm going to have to write about the relationship with that 'acquaintance' some time, too. It's been on my list 'to write about' ever since I started this weblog, but never really got around to it. I believe she's doing pretty well there, though it does get a bit boring all by herself there every now and then. But she has the cats, and quite some books to read. In Breda next year, it should be even less of a problem, considering she'll be busy studying, so I have faith in her pulling it off.

Also, *I* managed. No reason why Alique shouldn't, seeing as she's always been a bit more mature in the 'taking care of my own' business than myself. Well, maybe not right now at the moment, but I have a head start, you see.

Anyway, did I mention that my sis rox0rs ? Hehehe. Well, she does. Don't let anyone (especially herself) convince you otherwise.

*rolls eyes*

New news ?

Not too much, and I'm still not really in the mood for the 20+ page recap.
Heh, well, that's about as much it would take if I wrote about everything in full. Considering I know myself just a little, I can safely state that that won't be happening. Sorry folks.

This morning, I remembered a bit of my dream. It was ... uh, about a swimming pool. Something like that, anyway, it was a bit of a freaky one, with slopes and dives and things all placed a bit oddly, and reminded me a bit of an obstacle course. ... So, anyway, I was there, and I do believe there was some backstory to it as well, but I don't remember any of that. I swam around a bit, but I'm not entirely sure the 'swimming' feeling was really accurate. ... And that, later, reminded me that I haven't been swimming in ages. Really, it's been a few years. Heck, I don't even know if I have any swimming clothes anymore. ... I do seem to remember always enjoying it as a kid. Don't really know when I stopped with the swimming bit. I'll say I do still enjoy it, but ...

Well, I don't know a reason. I could throw up the 'too ashamed to show myself in public' ball, but ... considering I don't give a darn, I sincerely doubt that's the whole reason. I mean, I do realize I'm not a very pretty sight naked, being quite overweight and furry. (Yes, Gerko is a Big Fat Hairy Man with a small [...] .... NEVERMIND ~!). ... Maybe just convenience, I suppose. It's easier just staying home, and just going around the pool by yourself isn't all that extra entertaining ... so ... yeh. path of least resistance. Also, I seem to remember chlorine really messing with the skin on my head. Itched a lot a few times.

Okay, they're sucky reasons. I'll go swimming again soonish.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Well, looky who's back.
Yup. I am.

Blogger got itself a new updating interface. It's ... modern. I guess I like the style, even though I didn't there there was that much wrong with the previous style. Not that that has any impact on how the site looks like, so there aren't any changes to be noticed on this end.

Also messed with my template again a bit. Archives should be working on the blogger engine again, and also updated the commenting script, since YACCS asked to do that. But again, I don't think there's anything to be noticed by the readers. Maybe the YACCS button. I thought I'd be a nice guy and add it.

As for the bookcounter : I read through The Loop by Nicholas Evans, and Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen during my non-updating absence. They were nice. (Thanks Elise !)

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Last night, at home-home, I was 'alone'. Mom was out, siblings were in bed already. I felt like laying in the backyard and admire the stars for a while. ... Which I did. Turned off the lights inside, got in a lawn chair and just looked up. A clear sky, and even though a little bit of fog was forming, I could see a lot of stars.

Got company from one of our cats for a while, too.

I'm not entirely sure how long I sat outside there, but I figure it was somewhere 'round half an hour. Or maybe an entire hour. I don't know. But I do know I saw some shooting stars. Five of 'em, give or take one (Four 'certain', one 'probably' and one other 'uh ... maybe')

I thought about making some wishes, but didn't really know anything to actually wish for. Ofcourse, there's the "it would be nice if" ones, but ... there wasn't anything I could really put my heart behind. I mean, I suppose I could've wished for love, (Yes, of all the things that have changed during my blogging absense, my bachelor status hasn't.) but somehow it didn't really feel right. So instead, I sort-of wished Elise a nice vacation in Australia, and June good luck with the guy in the lift.

But maybe I should think of something to really wish for myself. But then again, I've known that for a long time. It's my "pointlessness" issue still. Oh well.

I also thought about 'choosing' a star. A 'star of my own'. Like in movies, you know. That one star that means a little bit more to you than all the others, the one you search for when casting your sight up towards the sky at night. But you know how I am with choices. Can never make 'em, so I didn't even try.

Anyway, sitting outside was nice.

Oh, and if you'd be so kind, just imagine for yourselves a page long, extremely sad and pathetic apology for not blogging for so long. I'm not in the mood myself.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

You may just not know it yourself, but on this day, Gerko turned 20 years old.

I was planning on writing some reflective stuff here, but ... well, guess that didn't work out.
Anyway, I'm 20 now, and I sometimes definatly feel old. 20. Geez. Scary stuff. Seriously, I mean it. I don't know. It's ... just whoa.

Twenty. 20. And I still feel like a kid sometimes. I yearn for those days every now and then.

So ... yeah. anyway. Time to move on from ... being a teenager, I guess.

You know what ? Until this day, my mom used to have 5 teenagers in the house. (at least when I was home.) Youngest sis turned 10 almost a year ago. (at the time of writing this, a little over a year ago, actually)

...

Anyway, my birthday wasn't too bad. Turned out nicer that I thought it would be. So I'm satisfied, I guess.

Oh, and mom still owes me a pair of pants.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

[lots to tell, not nearly enough time or willingness to write. WHY NOT? .. Oh well. I'll be back. Also my apologies for those e-mails I haven't replied yet. I'll get around to 'em ! Really. ... ]

Sunday, June 15, 2003

I'm sorry. I don't know what's causing it, but I'm unable to write anything the last couple of days. Likewise, I've been unable to read anything lengthy on the computer, either. Just don't feel like I can keep my attention to anything when I'm behind the computer now.

Just not in the mood. 'course, today I had some excuses with even more people visiting and all, but still ...
... eh, I'll get my writing urge back. Surely, I will ... just ... not now.

So, yeah, I guess that's the end of my good mood streak. I'll get that back too, don't worry. Just ... fleh. Aside from not being able to feel comfortable behind the PC, I haven't been doing that bad, though. Well, aside from last wednesday, but more about that later. (I hope)

Saturday, June 14, 2003

I've been telling myself to start blogging again for a couple of days now.

Now I'm telling it myself again, but publicly this time.
Gerko, start blogging again, you do have stuff to write about.

Right, right. ... Tomorrow. ... uh, today, after sleep, that is. Hee.

Another reason for posting this is the return of Daily Dan !
He's Daily,
He's Dan,
He's Fat as Hell
And he looks like a Pig,
It's Daily Dan !
Go Dan the Cat ! woo !

Be sure to check that link every day, ya hear ? Doug should be updating that page for every new strip.

As for my reading habits... They've started slacking a bit. I'll get back to it, though ... more news after sleepy ...

Sunday, June 08, 2003

Got woken up by a ... thunder-storm of sorts. Shortly before 10 am the combination of thunder and heavy rain made me crawl out of my bed.

Now, I found this thunder to be quite peculiar. Yes, it was announced well in advance by the weathery people yesterday, but it being there isn't the strange thing.

What I found odd was the complete lack of storm. Lightning flashed every couple of seconds, and it never really did stop rumbling. But it was practically wind-still the entire time, the air sometimes coming to a complete halt, and never picking up over 'barely a light breeze'. Also, the sky. It wasn't a dark, omnious grey. Instead it was a very light shade of extremely dull gray. From horizon to horizon, it was one big, dull, light gray blanket. One one side it leaned to a very boring grey-blue, though. But you could only see the change by changing your view some 90 degrees instantly, as it was a very gradual shift.

Strange ?

Had that appointment in Middelburg last thursday. Some other branch of the whole "We, the goverment, are going to put you, Gerko, to work"-scheme. Got another appointment back there upcoming thursday ... and ... well, I don't know. The guy there practically said he could offer me a year-plan and a job, and I that I could probably start working early next month. I suppose that's good, even if it's probably some very low-level job. (Not that I was expecting anything else. Not from them, nor from anything I could find by myself.)

There's that nagging feeling though. Gerko is being taken care of once again. Again, I'm allowed to simply go along with the stream and remain passive. My problems become other people's problems and then cease to be a concern to me. It seems as if this has always been the case for me, and even now, or maybe even especially now it's the same thing all over again. So, sure, it may have left me hanging since late last year or so, but now that it really starts to matter, there's that safety net that's gently catching me in my descent. It's not that I really have this urge to get up and take care of everything myself. ... I just find it ... odd. As if the Universe agrees with my passive stance. I'm not sure if I like that.

After that appointment, I made my way to the library on foot, turned in Hitch Hiker's and replaced it with Thief of Time. For sake of my own sanity, I shall not describe the atrocious horrors I came to witness while checking out the dutch translated version of the fifth part of the "Transgalactic Handbook".

Later that evening, I sent out that e-mail to my High School english teacher. No reply as of yet, but I didn't expected one instantly anyway.

Wednesday Evening, June 4th

Wednesday Afternoon, June 4th

Wednesday Evening (later), June 4th

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Now, before I get around to typing over 3 other entries I wrote on my notepad yesterday, let me voice my discontent about the pile of clean-but-unfolded laundry on my bed.

*groan*

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy today. ... Since I have to go to Middelburg next thursday anyway, I suppose I'll go turn it in then. And get my hands on another book or something. Hrmmm ... according to their on-line catalogue, it doesn't seem like they have an english version of part 5 : Mostly Harmless ... They do have a ... *shudder* translated dutch version, though. So you'll understand my torn feeling regarding this. To read or not to read.

Anyway, suggestions are welcome. I paid €13 for that library card, and I'd better make use of it the rest of the year, or reading Hitch Hiker's is going be quite an expensive dealie. One friend suggested Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett .. hmmmm ...

Anyone else have suggestions ?
(Alique, shaddap !)

Monday, June 02, 2003

Alright. So, sleeping tonight actually wasn't that bad. Went smooth enough, I guess. Maarten (the housemate that let me in) had scrounged up some extra matrass somewhere I could sleep on, and with the current temperatures I didn't really need something to cover myself with. So I slept in a small hallway on a thing matrass, using two towels as an improvised pillow. Woke up 'round a quarter past nine, and my mom let herself in the house some 5 minutes later. (She rang the doorbells first, but something's awfully wrong with those, and no-one heard.) She gave me my keys and left shortly after. Not mad anymore or whatever. Heh. ... Thanks mom.

Driving lessons didn't go that smooth. Vehicle control is good enough, but my reactionary skills are still lacking. (Don't see things, or if I do see 'em, don't react to 'em properly, or at all. Crazy) ... Got another lesson tomorrow morning. Hope my head will be clearer then.

Had a dream tonight, which was quite ... 'possible' ... Dreamed that I woke up at 10:30, and somehow had slept through my mom dropping off my keys. ... I rushed downstairs to the front door, and found my keys there, on the floor, thrown in through the mailbox opening. I picked 'em up, hurried back upstairs to open my room, get my booklet and see what time I had my driving lesson at. (See, I had forgotten it, just thought that it was somewhere in the morning.), and hoping feverishly that I hadn't missed my appointment already. ... A wave of relief came over me as I saw that the appointment wasn't until 18:17 (what a peculiar time) and that I had pretty much all the time in the world left. Then a sense of futility spread, and I felt as if the entire night and having my mom drop off my keys had been for nothing. ... Shortly after that I woke up, and was quite relieved that I hadn't overslept anything. Heh.

How to get a girl

• Don't wear white socks

[1:04 am]
Well, would you look at that. Another handwritten entry, and what kind of reason could I have for that ? Quite easy, actually. I forgot my keys. Hee- I'm locked out of my room here in Vlissingen. Was locked out of the house, too, but one of my housemates who was just getting ready for bed was kind enough to open the door for me at about 11:30 or so.
Called home, and mom reluctantly offered to bring me my keys tonight, after letting me know she was quite upset about me forgetting them in the first place. But, I refused. I figure that if I am stupid enough to forget my keys I might as well live with the consequences. She's bringing 'em over tomorrow morning now. And that, only, becasue I need my booklet for my driving lessons tomorrom. (Which I, stupidly, left in my room. I usually take it home-home with me) Otherwise I would have come for 'em myself (with the train) tomorrow... euh-today.

So? What have I been up to in the past one-and-a-half hour, you ask ? I took a shower, shaved, got into my pyjamas. Then I went downstairs (Still the 2nd floor, only 'downstairs' in relation to the bathroom and my own room) to the kitchen-with-balcony, admired the smallish thunderstorm (Ah, that fresh smell//feeling of rain after a hot, humid day. Wonderful.) Then I got out my Stephen King bundle and read the remaining few pages of the last story in it. (It was about a pregnant woman on an island coping with "the end of the world", Night of the Living Dead-style. Zombies and all. It was a strange mixture of common, real, down-to-earth characters and the sci-fi horror of dead people coming back from the grave to eat you.) ... After that, I started on this blog entry, at the kitchen table.

One of my other housemates just talked to me for a bit. (Woke up for a bathroom break, I think, or maybe he was still up, not sure...) Asked me what I was doing and offered some help, or at least, the willingness to help, because there isn't really that much one can really do to help, I guess. Oh well, I guess I'd better go and try to get some sleep... Mom will be here in about eight hours, forty-five minutes, and I'd better be well-rested by then. (especially because I have driving lessons not long after that) Ah ! Another housemate just came home, too. Said hi, asked how the weekend has been and said goodnight. I don't think I told her I was locked out of my room. Heh.
Anyway, as said, I'd better got get some sleep. Goodnight !
[1:36 am]

P.S. I kinda like my handwriting in this piece. more-so for the first page than this second, but it's still not bad.

Saturday, May 31, 2003

I have some things to blog about, but since I'm lazy, I'm postponing 'em again. Knowing myself, that pretty much always means not blogging about it at all, so I'll summarize a bit anyway.

• Spent another two days working at my dad's place. Nothing too interesting, as usual.
• Having some problems with my bicycle. In the process of fix0ring it.
• My youngest brother's participating in some national youth checkers tournament. ... He's not doing very well, though. Still, it's quite an achievement to even get there. So .. yeh. I'm proud of him nontheless.
• Saw the 1954 movie Creature from the Black Lagoon yesterday evening. Hehehehe. Bad, old movies are funny. Quite entertaining due to it's "Oh man, that's just so lame" factor. Would've been even better if I'd have been watching together with something else. Laughing at stupid things together is so much more fun than laughing at it all by yourself ...
• I was very l33t earlier this week and decyphered some page-big advertisement in the newspaper. It was kinda cool doing that, and being able to do so made me feel pretty good about myself for a 'lil while.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is great.

But I'm afraid I might be going through it a bit too fast ... Finished the entire first book yesterday. Three more to go.

Hrmmmm ..... Bane decided to give up on his blog. I'm not very happy about that. I can understand pauses and all, fine. Unscheduled breaks ? Guilty as charged. But he's planning to make it permanent by deleting the pages. ... says it's not interesting writing and ... stuff. I disagree, but apparently, that doesn't help. Bane, keep your blog, darn it ! You don't have to update reguarly, and ... ... ~sigh~
He's not listening to me. Someone else try ?

Talking about deleting pages, it seems like Doug got rid of his regular log too, and replaced all of it with "SDF" and "arggggggggggggbb" ... and without notice or whatever, too. I'm less startled by Doug doing this, though. It's quite like him to do stuff like that. I'm used to it from him. Not so with Bane. Oh well, at least Doug's still working on his dreamlog.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

*Gots his copy*

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

*goes to read*

Monday, May 26, 2003

Oh, and also, Doug's been busy writing down his dreams again. Go read.

In the meantime, I'm actually not feeling half-bad. The weather's good, and for some reason I've got a lot of energy in my body. Dunno really where it's from, but I feel like walking around and stuff, and just bearing that "I feel good" face. All of this weekend already, even. Think it started friday or thursday. Maybe even a bit earlier, but to a lesser degree.

So apparent was this change, that my mom asked me who the lucky girl was this weekend. ... Eh. As far as I can tell, I'm not exactly in love with anyone right now. (Is it even possible to be in love and not know ? It happens in movies all the time, but movies aren't notorious for their factual portrayal of Real Life) ...

But no, I'm not really sure what put me in this mood. I think the completion//coming together of my Easter Egg Project might have something to do with it, but it's not just that. Maybe it's the weather, but ... not really that either. Maybe it's because I've walked a bit more. Maybe it's the alignment of the stars (Oh, COME ON!). Maybe it's because my last driving lesson went pretty well. Maybe because I've been reading again ? ... eh ... I don't know. I'm just in a pretty good mood, and it doesn't really matter where it's coming from, now does it ?

So, anyway, my plans for tomorrow are geared up with the same dose of enthusiasm. Starting off with another driving lesson at 9:40 am will ensure me to get out of bed on time. I'll also have to drop by that Social Service place again, because I didn't manage to turn in everything I needed to. (Got there too late, wasn't able to make copies of my bank account notes. Threw the rest of the paperwork in the therefor designated mailbox.)

I 'forgot' (couldn't find it in the 2 minute window before having to leave to catch the train) my Stephen King bundle at home this morning, and the inability to read today felt 'wrong'.

Being almost done with it anyway, I started thinking about what would have to be my next book to read. My sis' has another book laying around she wants me to read, but I'm putting it off, because it is yet another horrible english-dutch translation. Thanks but no thanks, Alique, I'd rather read something english first.

Now, one thing I've meant to read for a few years already, but somehow never took the trouble to track down, is Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It's been on my list since '99 or so. Today, finally, I tracked down a copy on-line. It seems like the Library in Middelburg has a non-translated copy currently available.

Now, during my appointment with my social worker (or, one of 'em, at least. I think I have three or so. Sheesh. Am I in that much trouble ?) early last week, she suggested I'd get a library subscription, as a way of getting out more. A suggestion I wholeheartedly agree with. I spend too much time behind this screen, and I like reading, too. I think she meant the library here in Vlissingen, though.

But, my plans as of now include me going to Middelburg tomorrow, signing up for the main library there (€13 a year, I think.) and getting my grubby hands on their copy of HHGttG.

Now, from what I gather, you just have one subscription for all (or most, anyway) the libraries here in the province, so a subscription gotten at the main library in Middelburg should also be valid for the local one here in Vlissingen. And I think, also for the one in 's-Gravenpolder, although I'm not entirely sure if that one there is part of the main organisation. So no-one'd better worry about me not being able to afford that.

Depending on how good I'll feel, I'm going to walk those 6 or 7 kilometers to Middelburg. Let's see how long this good mood lasts, hum ?

Got a bit of a scare this morning when I opened some bank account notes .

Seems like I miscalculated something, because it seems that as of May 15th, I had only € 15.92 left in my account.

Mom was kind enough to transfer about half of what she still owes me for driving lessons to my bank account, though. (She and my dad 'gave' me some money for that as a graduation gift ... 2 years ago. But I never collected, because I hadn't started my driving lessons yet) That should put me in 'safe' territory for a little while again. Still, she's not too happy knowing that most of it will now go up to my rent. Nor am I, really. But to put it in perspective ... I used my own money for those driving lessons up till now. Which would've gone to the rent if she'd have ... well, you get the point.

Likewise, I'm expecting the gov' thing to come through real soon, if it hasn't already. Because of some crazy flunk somewhere in there, they seem to believe I'd have to make do with a little under € 200 a month, because I'm still under 21. (Unless there's some official 'darn good' reason for living out, I shouldn't be, according to the rules, so no extra money.) Still, it's been approved, and I should get that money soon. With an application date of Feb 28th, I should get about three months worth, which should tide me over for at least the next one.

Still, financial problems are now, not 'some time in the nearby future' anymore. I really have to start working on getting a proper job. Or heck, any job. Sheesh. And this all could've been avoided if only I'd have my head on straighter over half a year back, because I knew this was coming. But did I act ? Noooooo ... ofcourse not. Master Procastrinator, remember ?

I have to now, though. And I will.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

I said I would write a bit more about my Easter Egg Project, so here it is.

It's basicly a picture of about half my room. Yes, it really looks like that. The colors may be off a little, but there's not much to be done about that with just 16 colors. The other half of my room would have a bookcase, another desk, door, coat rack, closet, loungy chair, and a TV. Oh, and a crate of bottled carbonated water.

Programs I used to create this thing :

• MS Paint
• Notespad
• SNDREC32
• Internet Explorer

Did you know that ... ? [part I]

• ... Gerko only used the phrase "fuck" (or fucking, f*cking) 5 times on his blog ?
• Recently, quoting June.
  (Apparently, he's a "crazy fuck with no life".)
• When angry at blogger for losing an entry.
  (That "bloody f*cking piece of damned junk")
• Mentioning a movie.
  ("Fucking Åmål" ... No, that's not porn.)
• Giving up on his blog 6 weeks after starting.
  (Decided to just "Fuck it".)
• Exclaiming disbelief regarding a self-made nonsense statement.
  ("What the fuck ?", but this was while drunk.)
• ... Gerko mentioned Elise's name 77 times ?
• ... But June's only 40 times ?
• ... Sighed once more (43) than that he referred to himself as "Gerko" in the third person (42) ?
• ... These statistics do not include this entry itself ?
• Neither does it include any of the comments
• ... Gerko really wasn't that bored when he looked up those statistics ? Unbelievable, but true.

YEEHAW !



Happy Hunting !

It took me a while, but I'm all done now. ... Going to get some sleep first now, I'll post more about this later.

Well, looks like I'm going to have to come short of my promise. Still not done.

Didn't get up on time this morning, and dinner took a lot longer than what I had figured it would. Also, I kept distracting myself.

However, fear not, for I shall not rest before I have unveiled my Easter Egg Project. ... Some of the other relevant entries can wait, I guess. I'll get 'em up today, though. (And if not, I'll cheat and make some bogus entries, so it will look like I got 'em posted on time anyway :p)

Friday, May 23, 2003

Ok, so I'm done with all the graphics now. That's good. Wanted to do some more, but ... meh. My head's not co-operating. Started hurting again a bit, and I'm Oh-So-Tired. I guess it'd be better to go get some sleep now and get up on time tomorrow morning and do stuff then.

Speaking of tomorrow morning, I think I'm going to buy some groceries for breakfast ... I feel like breakfast, but I don't really have anything for it aside from crackers and stuff, so ... yeah ... I think that'd be a good plan. Would certainly wake me up, too.

Sooo ... a quick list of things to do 'tomorrow' (Friday)

• Get up at a reasonable time
• Groceries, Breakfast
• Call my dad, see if I have to work today
• HTML parts of Easter Egg Project (EEP)
• Write some more aniversary related entries (parts, anyway)
• Head home-home ?

Help ! running out of time.

No sleep for me until I get at least some things finished. See it as a punishment for my eternal procastrination, or whatever. But I intend to finish this before Saturday. My Easter Egg Project will be finished by saturday, and some of the other entries will also be ready.

... Why I'm stressing this much ? I may actually not have all that much time tomorrow. And I wasted most of today (thursday).

Eh, I'll get it done. That's a promise, to myself.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

>:-/

Got a nasty headache. Going for some non-computer time now. May be back later tonight. I 'unno. Still gotta work on some stuff here, saturday is getting close. Oh well ...

*yawns* ... Eh, tired, too.

Just spent a bit over half an hour "playing" with my left hand. Writing some silly sentences, drawing some doodles ... stuff like that.

Looks like a young kid's writing. As expected, ofcourse. Heh.
Anyway, I think it's already improved some since ... oh, I don't know. long time ago. If I keep this exercise up, I'll be ambidextrous in a year or two ...

That'd be cool.

Sleepy time now, though.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Ok ! I just did it, and replied to that spam mail thing. Needed two people to tell me to do so, though. Hehehe. I dug up and re-activated some old hotmail account I once made for some roleplaying forum, but never got around to actually use for anything. I can risk this account being signed up for hundreds of e-mailing lists.

I didn't lie too much in this e-mail, except the part about my email addy. And ofcourse, I feigned an overdose of ignorance. *grin*

Oh well, here is my reply, anyway :

To       :   sweet_096_angel@hotmail.com

From     :   nt_gerard@hotmail.com

Subject  :   Re: Hi (sorry for the late reply!)

Date     :   Tue, 20 May 2003

Monday, May 19, 2003

Well, I don't really know what else to say about today ...

As said, I'm not celebrating until Elise does ... so ... um ... yeah. Anyway, I'm starting on some relevant entries, mostly in my head so far .. but ... eh. Anyway.
Driving went reasonable today ... last time was still better though. Had some real fights with the clutch today. Kept pressing it down for no reason a lot of the time, and I think I killed the engine at least 4 times. ... Sheesh. Even at my 'lows' and at the start I didn't manage to do that ! ... For the rest it went fairly well, though. Still have to work on my watching skills ( translates to : more active, less passive ), too. Eh, but I'm repeating myself, over and over and over again.

Gave June a call today, she's kinda down 'bout a couple of things ... not sure if my phone call helped any, but ... ah well. :-/

For the rest ... I have a new appointment at that "Social Work" thing next wednesday ... And another driving lesson on Thursday. ... I'll think about cooking tomorrow. Gotta get some groceries anyway, and there's no other plans for tomorrow.

*sniffles*

Where is everyone ?

I make a couple of (IMHO) fairly interesting entries, and no-one seems to show up. ... Ah well ... I'll go post a link to this page on a couple of places today. Consider the low, low turnout, I'm not going to offer that sneak-peek. Hah. Your own fault. Neener-neener.

Today's a special day for my blog, you know that ? Exactly one year ago I hit that [post and publish] button for the first time.
This blog has been through quite a bit the last year, but I'm going to hold off on writing a sypnosis or just a general 'looking back' thing until the 24th. I'm not supposed to celebrate it today, you see. Just wait paitiently for next saturday ...

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Finished another page of my Easter Egg Project.
Just one more image to make. Then just write and tweak the interface, and I should be done! Wheee ! ... it should be good. Yeessh ... *smug look*

Hmmm ... thinking about offering a sneak-peek next monday. ... but, as said earlier, it'll ruin some of the surprise. So ? What's the public opinion on it ? Should I ?

Junk mail usually comes in only one form. "WHOA ! CHECK THIS OUT ! FOLLOW THIS LINK AND YOU'LL GET THIS*"

* : "this" : Pornography, dates, a bigger [male chicken], cheap loans, a good night's sleep, or one of countless other products you really don't want.

Sometimes, though, junk mail comes in a different shape :

From     :   "Nikki Bennett" <hot_angel_5579@aol.com>

Reply-To :   <hot_angel_5579@aol.com>

To       :   <gerko2077@hotmail.com>

Subject  :   Hi

Date     :   Thu, 8 May 2003  11:36:11 -0300

Friday, May 16, 2003

As mentioned in Tuesday's entry, I had to stop by the Driving school ("Freddy Wolf") this week to apply for my exam. Just as in a nice little story I never managed to write down earlier, I decided to walk there. I think it's about 2 or 3 kilometers from my doorstep. I was headed home-home wednesday anyway, and although it's nowhere on-route to the Vlissingen trainstation, most of the route to "Freddy Wolf" is paralleled to the rails (Although separated by water), and there's another train station about half-way.

So far so good. I'd walk some, which is always healthy, and I'd get that stuff done. However, Fate decided I needed a bit more excitement. Two or three minutes after stepping outside, it started to rain. I walked on. Not according to Fate's plan, so it started raining harder. A lot harder. Still unaware of Fate's intentions, I turned around and walked back home, to get my umbrella. (You know, that one I've been hoarding ever since I moved out here, but only used once before ?) Black, old. Decent, and with a curved handle. For some reason, I connect that umbrella with my mother rather strongly. I think it used to be hers, but I don't think she's used it in years (even before I 'confiscated' it). I can't really place it. Maybe it's the way it looks and smells, but .... hmmmm. I figure it stems from some half-faded, half-forgotten memories from days long past, back in the days me and my sister used to play around with umbrellas in-house. (Aaah. Good days)

But back to the story at hand. the rain had subdued into a milder rain by the time I returned to my home's doorway. Fate's game started dawning on me, and even before I had made my way all the three stairs up, I had some strong suspicions on what it's game would be. I got my umbrella-which-reminds-me-of-mom and headed back downstairs.

I stepped outside, and lo and behold, it had stopped raining.

It felt like being in a cartoon. Or one of those shorty Donald Duck comic strip. Fate had grown bored, turned on it's TV, watched some cartoons and thought it would be hella-funny to pull those same practical jokes on real people. (Yes, I do realize it's more probably that such cartoons were inspired (and subsequently exaggerated) by real-life events, thus making the cartoons mimicking fate, instead of the other way around. But I digress)

I had caught on to it's game, but I wasn't about to play along. I had someplace to go, and so I went, unused umbrella and all.

Fate countered by breaking the cloudy sky every now and then with a bright sun. Obviously in an attempt to make me feel stupid for carrying around that umbrella. No dice, though. No rainbows, either, even though it was real rainbow-weather, as far as I could judge.

By the time I was at my destination, I had opened the umbrella once. 'course, it only stopped some 20 drops before the sky cleared again. I don't think I could call it rain. Real rain, anyway. Rain that needs the use of rainsuits or umbrellas.

There wasn't anything too interesting going inside. I thought about making a joke along the lines of having second thoughts about getting my driver's license, "because these still work fine", and point at my feet. Dunno why I didn't. I paid a month's rent to apply for my exam, and I was on my way again. I figure it'll take me about two months before I'll take it. So I don't think I'll be driving on my own as a 19 year old. (A little under 6 weeks remaining. Oh. My. God. I'm going to be 20!?)

Still no rain ... Ofcourse not.

Then, a rather bold idea dawned on me. I was quite content with walking at that point, but didn't feel that backtracking wasn't too great a thing to do. Besides, that next train station, in Middelburg, couldn't be that much further ahead. Still, it would be rather pointless and stupid to go there, though. I didn't know the way, and it was most certainly a longer walk. I was already a bit late, too. So there really wasn't any reason to do it. I called myself an idiot, turned left, and headed for Middelburg anyway.

Fate agreed that it was a stupid thing to do, and changed the rules of it's game. Some 15 minutes into the unchartered territory, it unleashed a hailstorm on my head. If I had backtracked to the earlier train station, I would have arrived there at about the exact time that hailstorm broke out. This was fate's doing. No doubt. It had timed it precisely, just to make me feel like the fool that I was.

I managed to stay dry for the most part, though. Thanks to the half-cover of the trees, and the complete cover of my umbrella.

I bravely trudged on, and after what seemed like half an hour, (but was probably a bit less), the hailstorm stopped, and left me to continue my journey without any watery things falling from the skies. Some time later, I arrived in Middelburg, and as I made my way to the station, felt a bit proud of myself. (And stupid, but in a good way.)

According to the Dutch Railroads site, I walked some 7 kilometers in total. (For the metrically impaired : that's about 4 miles) Not a lot for most people, but it's something for me. Not a herculean performance, but still something out of the ordinary. And it felt good. I had endured fate.

Fate, however, had one last trick up it's sleeve. As I found out last night, on my way back to my student-place-thingie.

"So, Gerko ... You like to walk, hum ?"

Eh ? say what ?

"The bridge is out. Take a detour."