Gerko's Weblog

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

 Good Riddance ? ~sigh~

Friendship between June and myself is now officially over.

*deep sigh*

Sunday, October 31, 2004

 Gerko's back ?

Well, I got around to putting up some earlier writings.

Be sure to check further down the page up until september 21st, in case you're interested.
I should so be studying instead of updating my blog. But it was doing this or doing absolutely nothing. For the first time in quite a while, I chose this.

Tomorrow I have a Lexicon (vocabulary) test. Haven't really studied. Going to have to depend on my own skill in the English language to get me through this one.

... There's quite a bit more news to tell, and I hope I'll be updating some more in the nearby future. As well as another template update. Links need to be replaced or removed, and as I said a long time ago, blogger updated and has new nifty stuff I should incorporate into this.

Let's just say I'm still broken over the previous weekend. I'm really just at a loss what to do now.

Monday, October 25, 2004

 After ...

It was going to be great.
What went wrong ?

Was it me ? Was it June ?
Both, I figure.

Why wasn't I excited before I left home ? Why wasn't I thrilled at meeting June and flying on an airplane? I hadn't flown in some 14 or 15 years. And now I'm apathic about it. Ok, well, the flight was interesting. But no more than reading the label on a beer bottle.

The return plane is currently waiting for take-off.
Taxi-ing ... stopped. Probably getting ready to accellerate any moment now.
... Guess not.

Plane is moving again. Don't know if it's for real this time.

Definatly on the runway now. Feels like it's taking longer than the first time. Maybe because I'm distracted, or that it isn't new anymore. Probably because it is taking longer, though.
accelerating ... more ..

and ... we're off...
Hills, lots of hills. Noticed this on the first flight too. Some smallish towns.
Fairly steep ascend.
Turning at the moment. Going ... north.
And turning eastwards now. Sun at the back of the plane.
Already over some clouds.

I look down at some shorelines, searching for the same phenomenon that I saw on the first flight. There's no movement in the waves. They're still - frozen like in a picture or a minature. I wonder what to ascribe this to.

Ah. Airplane food.


	SESAM BUN TURKEY/

		MUSTARD

- advertised as chicken. (Now that's something you don't see much.)
Also, a plastic cup of orange juice.
Quite nice.

Little bit of turbulence right now. Nothing major. Nothing more than what one would expect on train. Nothing on the com ... - and it's gone already. I think we left land just now.

...

I see some weird stuff below. Can't quite make it out. Bits of white, scattered and moving. Clouds? Waves? Seagulls? - no, not seagulls. Torn between clouds and waves.

Descending now. Ears are being annoying. It's dark out.
Lots of lights, and as we're turning I think I could see the landing strip. Maybe not. Maybe just a highway. Or a town, actually. Hmm. so not used to this sight. Nice, though. Quite nice indeed.

Landing speech on the com system now. Lights will be dimmed.
Clouds. Bit of turbulence.
Turning - lights not dimmed yet.
More highways and towns.
The moon just broke though the clouds on my left.


"Hi Luna ..."

Light are dimmed now. Can still write because of overhead light.
Even more towns and roads.


Nevermind that.

Landing gear came out. - Landing for sure now.


shaky ...

decelerating (in the air, still ?)


still a bit shaky.

(boy was I wrong when I thought I saw the landing strip earlier)


but ... now I see it.


touchdown.

written quite enough for now.


Ta!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

 Before ...

Next friday morning, I'm going to get up from my bed, shave, shower. Put on my clothes, probably hastily eat some breakfrast - brush my teeth. Look in the mirror and see if my hair's okay and brush my hand through it either way - there'll be no noticable effect, so it doesn't matter. Go downstairs again. Sit down behind the PC and check for e-mails, a few webcomics. Laugh out loud, perhaps.
I gather my bags, say goodbye to my four younger siblings - if they're not yet at school. I ask my mom if we should be going. Or she asks me. I get the car keys, call out goodbye once again as I leave the house by the front door. I almost automatically take the driver's seat. I drive to the train station, leave the car, - my mom's car - in her custody, and with yet another goodbye I start walking towards the platform with my bags. I wave, see my mom drive away. I wait for the train, which undoubtedly will be delayed. It arrives eventually, I get inside and find myself a seat. I look around for a free newspaper and start reading as the train departs.

So far, an ordinary day.

By the end of the day, though - I'll be lying down on a floor in a strange house, in a country I've never been before, with people I've never met. Because I'm not going to my own place in Vlissingen, (which I christened "Student-Home-Place-Thingie") or to college in Tilburg. Oh no, I'm going to Schiphol Airport to catch flight KL1053, headed for Bristol International Airport.

It's is going to be the first time I'll be travelling on my own. It's going to be my first time to Britain, or any English speaking country, for that matter. It's going to be my first time on an airplane in about 15 years. (Incidentally, it's the first time my mom's airmiles are put to use as well.) And, it is also the first time I'm going to meet June face to face.

Now, I met June on the internet a little over two years ago. She had been pen pals with the girl across the street for a good number of years before. But, with the advent of the online world, their pens were slowly replaced by keyboards, and over time other people got involved and this eventually included yours truly, with a scheme to get both the girl across the street and myself started on writing a weblog. I probably would have declined, were it not that I had harboured an unrequited love for the girl across the street for nearly eight years. (But that's a different story that has been told here often enough already.)

Over these two years, June and I got pretty close - as far as online friendships are concerned, anyway. The decision to meet one day had been made well before either of us properly realised.
June, however, didn't really live closeby. She's Malaysian, and well, Malaysia isn't exactly around the corner. Nor is it around the corner, down the hallway and then on your right. So it was pretty much postponed indefinatly. A few months ago, though there was news. Great news. June was going to study Law, at a University in Bristol, England. And considering I'm a bit of a nut for the English language, but had never been to England before in my life - this was just about the best excuse possible to plan a trip.

There were some demands, though. "Stroopwafels" and "Boterbabbelaars", or I couldn't come. And I had to look out for something called Chanel Chance, and if it'd be less than £34 I had to buy it and she'd pay me back. I'll just assume it to be some kind of perfume.

So that it's. We agreed to meet at Temple Meads station somewhere in the afternoon, and that's where I'll get myself to. One way or another.

It's going to be great.


[start flashforward]

Or rather, it was going to be great ...

[end flashforward]

Sunday, October 03, 2004

 Another whining entry. Oh joy.

Am such complete loser. Still can't write. Can't put myself to anything. Resistance to 'must do' something far too great to be able to pull anything off.

Had list of things to do today - failed on all accounts except taking a shower.

Sorry for once again a completely repetitive whining post. Can't help it. Or won't help it or anything, but feel so incredibly useless at the moment. Had a slight glimpse of hope almost two weeks ago already, managed to write some blog entry and some assignment for school. Hope is all lost again as still haven't been able to even copy these entries from hand written notebook to computer.

I really just don't know what to do. "Just do it" is too big a threshold to overcome. Stupid Nike.

Also one might notice writing reverted to Bridget Jones Diary style, just like last time I read novel. (Much to lazy to find entries)

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

 Driver's Licence. License. Licence. agh.

As some of you may be aware, Gerko finally has his driver's licence.

((Driver's license/licence ? Oh, for crying out loud - can someone, somewhere, please figure out which one it is ? licence or license ? Make up your bloody mind.))

You know how they say "three times' a charm" - for me it was five times. And because it was my fifth time, this examination wasn't conducted by someone from the CBR (Central Bureau for Driving Skill Certificates), but by someone from the BNOR (Bureau for Further Investigation of Driving Skills) - Which really wasn't any different. I just didn't do anything too grotesquely wrong this time. So yay!

Don't have my own car yet, no real plans either. And since I started studying again, with unlimited free public transport on weekdays, there's no real need either. I am happy that the ~150 euro/month drain is gone, though. Getting a car would soon enough gobble up that wee bit of financial freedom again. So no thanks. Not just yet.

 Flashback to Scott Stubbs

Greetings

Instead of writing this entry, I should probably be busy writing one of the many assignments I still haven't completed yet. But I'm on the train and still suffering from self-proclaimed writer's block.

When I mentioned to one of my teachers yesterday that I was having difficulty writing things down, she warned me against talking myself into a writer's block. HMPH. I'd rather have some advice on how to talk oneself out of one, since I figure I talked myself into a sporadic writer's block more than a few years ago. Oh well.

I figure I have to do something, though. And considering I'm not doing my homework anyway - here's a blog entry instead.

Where do I begin ? Where did I leave off ?
Meh. Early summer will do. So, I had my rather uneventful birthday. A few weeks later, though, I had a guest to take care of. Scott Stubbs, who I may or may not have mentioned here the past two years, was one of my first online aquaintances, dating back 5 or 6 years. We visisted the same message board (before such things were called 'forums'), got to know each other a bit over ICQ (pre-MSN days!), and ended up in the same "Fallout Clan" as well. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that before - The Order.
Scott left TO a few years ago, and generally spent less time online. Which is probably a good thing. Heh. Anyway, we did keep in touch every now and then, and when he announced plans for a trip through Europe, and I wasn't about to decline his request for some compagnionship and a place to stay for the duration of the trip spent in El Dutchyland.

I won't bore you (or myself) with all the details regarding his trip. Something about joining two of his real-life friends who were touring the 'entire' globe for their duration in Europe, and how after getting split up somehow Scott's friends got stuck in Spain on account of getting their gear stolen the night before heading to the Netherlands. (And leaving me walking around clueless at the airport.) In any case, I was expecting three Americans, turned out to be only one, and we had a pretty good time.

Spent some time at home-home, at my student-place-thingy in Vlissingen, went to see Shrek 2 together with my sister. (I'm assuming Scott managed to ignore the subtitles.)
Another day, my dad took us (Scott, my siblings and myself) to Rotterdam and Amsterdam. This included a visit to my comatose grandmother in the hospital († Aug 16th ... ), a climb up the Euromast (contemplated buying a t-shirt which read EURO MAST URBA TION), hung around a "Kwakoe" festival to meet up with my dad's (at the time) girlfriend. After that, it was one to Amsterdam, where he duly gave us a tour of the infamous Red Light District. "Us" still meant all of us, including my sister who had turned 12 years old a mere few days earlier. Some dad, huh ?

Ofcourse Amsterdam had to be revisited on our own - without parents or younger siblings to thwart our plans. (Though, with my passive nature, I still held Scott back somewhat.) Once there ourselves, we mostly walked around sight-seeing adn such. Visisted one musuem, had a tour through the ... um ... "Grachten" ... canals ?, browsed some stored. Ofcourse the Red Light District had to be revisited, but it wasn't really anything more interesting than the first time 'round. Still somewhat embarrassed I actually went there, but oh well. :p

The "Leidscheplein" couldn't be skipped either, with its 'outdoor cafés' and street performers. It was also on the Leidscheplein where I went into my first coffee shop. To order coffee, mind you. As I threatened I would. Still have the reciept somewhere.

We also went to see Boom Chicago - the very place I had my first (and only) 'non-date' with Larissa back in January. (Larissa and I aren't talking anymore. Something apparently went wrong when I asked her to come over for my birthday. She said she would, but didn't - and never talked to me again. Anyway, come to think of it, she was the first person from 'online' I met face-to-face, Scott was the second, and the third should be upcoming. Planning to take this third person to Boom Chicago as well, though probably not on our first meeting. I suppose there might be a pattern here.) After two days, I had to head home again - some stupid appointment with the unemployment office. Scott opted to stay in Amsterdam for a few days more. (Finally free from that Passive Slacker, he could persue his dreams!)

I think the next day was the one when I jumped off the nearby bridge. Merely two meters above water level, so don't get any silly ideas about suicide or anything. (Though it could be seen symbolically, I suppose.) All I know is that feeling of triumph - climbing out of the water, wringing out my clothes and subsequently walking home - was pretty darn good. Hadn't felt that good in a long time, and haven't so far.

But I digress.

Although plans to meet each other before Scott's departure existed, it didn't happen. However, he did still have some gear laying around at my place. And he still had my crappy tent. Crappy or not, I wanted it back.
So we arranged to meet at the airport. Scott, however, had already checked in. He'd left my tent in one of the lockers. How I finally managed to get his gear (packing into my own new backpack) on his plane is still a bit fuzzy to me, but it included walking from one information desk to the other more than once, and something about security as well.
He got his gear back, though, and my backpack is currently en-route back to the Netherlands from California, USA. Unless it got lost in the mail, since it's been a while.

To make it short (TOO LATE!), I had a good time. He's a pretty cool guy in real life as well as online and I've had quite some new experiences.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

 's not funny how much I still have to tell.

Suffering from severe writer's block - so bad that school is suffering from it.
Must kick self more. Or talk about it with someone or I don't know.Will have to get rid of this or I'll end up back in the dumps. (again?)

Once I get out of this rut, though - expect a recap with some important notes. (Scott, driver's licence, funeral, school etc.)

Sunday, August 01, 2004

 What the bloody, bloody, bloody hell are you doing here !?

Am back, hesitated quite a bit, but jumped anyway. Hitting the shower now - all salty.
Might consider myself a certifiable lunatic now. Oh well, can't help it.

 But enough gloom, cherio, good luck and ta-ta !

Whinebitchmoangroangonnajumpoffabridgeberightback.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

 21, I guess.

So I had a birthday this weekend. Am now allowed to buy booze on the other side of the ocean. Like I could care any less.

Can't be donkeyed right now to write any more. Wish I could, but maybe I'm just lazy. I'll see if I can improve later this week.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

 Nineteen

Because yesterday was so special, i have to blog about it.

Hiza and Fauz threw me a mini birthday surprise party involving a REALLY sweet(literally) Betty Crocker cake with vanilla frosting (think glucose overload) and a box full of soap(my present). Which led to "Do you think i'm smelly then?". They just laughed. God I love those girls. Zyman and his friends were there too and they were a load of fun. Especially when a rather tipsy Zyman showed us all his dance moves at Barzar =D

It's just the kind of thing one needs when one is on the rebound from a job that lasted two and a half hours. And as if that wasn't good enough, when i got home there was an email from the editor of the Star Metro saying that she'd get her chief reporter to call me soon for a writing assignment. HURRAH!!!!

I learnt a lot yesterday. So much that it would be difficult to fit into one post. But what i've learnt is going to stay with me for a lifetime. This has been quite a memorable birthday.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

 Gerko vs The Dutch Road Transport Department (or DRTD)

Obviously SOMEBODY should yank that poker out of the DRTD's ass! Either that, or it is a sign that SOME PEOPLE should be kept off the road indefinitely.. It's a very hard one to call!

On one side, we have your regular hairy dutch guy who has decided to brave the dutch streets in more than two wheels. He schedules time out of his maha-busy schedule, goes for lesson after lesson, endures the unbelievable fully automatic steering wheel, and laughs heartily every time he fails! boy, is he PER-SIS-TENT!

Then on the other hand, we have the evil, overly strict DRTD! The megalomaniac who expects our poor dutch dude to go back to first gear and wait for some old fart taking his own sweet time to drive pass! even though he has right of way! where is the justice i ask you? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE????

So grab your popcorn. Pay attention. And thanks for giving me this opportunity to write this crap in here just so that i can shamelessly post a promo picture of me on a site other than my own. Here you go folks. Note to Gerko: Pictures of naked breastfeeding snow women do not, i repeat, DO NOT attract readers ;) *cackles and runs away*

Sunday, June 06, 2004

 One book finished.

Just finished The Catcher in the Rye ... It was good.

Now, what else to fill my evening with ? I suppose I should get a few sub-chapters of that History book in, I suppose. There isn't much on TV worth watching, if I remember the TV guide correctly. Oh well, I'll figure something out.

 Hrm ... date cancelled / postponed

Just got a call from my to-be date - After looking at the time of the movie we were planning to see, and the thought of having to get up early monday morning, we decided that maybe it wasn't such a great idea to go tonight. Instead, we could try and see another movie in the afternoon, or early evening, perhaps. The immediate suggestion was 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban', but because neither of us really care about this 'Harry Potter' guy, we soon got over that. No other possibilities arose - all other movies had already been seen by one of us, or were just too 'stupid' to watch.

So we called it off for this weekend. She did invite me to bowling (and perhaps a movie afterwards) next saturday evening, but I'm not sure if I can make that, on account of those open days I'm visiting. Anyway, we are still planning on 'something', and we'll talk some more about it at work tomorrow, but there isn't going to happen anything today. Hmm. Bummer.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

 Busy weekend.

Didn't go home-home this weekend. I tried being productive, but I'm only doing about half of the stuff I was planning on doing. But I think I'll get done if I spread it over these three days. - See, I had friday off from work.

Not only is this weekend a bit on the busy side, last week was as well, and so will next week be.

Last week, as I've written in my previous entry, I had an Open Day in Nijmegen - okay, that's nothing too busy-busy, I guess. What I didn't mention about it though, was that my sister went with me. Which was nice, really - for some reason just being near her brings out the best of me. (Most of the time, anyway.)

This weekend, I've cleaned out my room a bit - mostly just vacuumed and gotten rid of the pile of laundry, but it looks quite a bit nicer already. I've done some reading as well, as I darn well should do - I have less than a month left until my colloquium doctum entry exams for English and History. Actually, I shouldn't even have time to write this here entry - I should be studying - but what the heck. I've done some grocery shopping, and I went to the gym friday evening.

What I didn't do, was go to another Open Day (again in Nijmegen) for the study of "English Teacher", instead I'll go next weekend to another college having a likewise open day which offers the same course. What I also didn't do was go to the library to extend some books and turn in some others - this I will do next monday evening.

As said, I have my 4th (*grmbls*) Driver's Exam monday afternoon. I have yet another Open Day on Thursday afternoon & evening, if I go there, that is. See, my mom is having her initiation into the rank of "Reiki Master" that day. - Again something I don't think I've mentioned before - "Reiki" is some sort of New Agish Healing Hands thing. Mom's spent the past two years in training to get the third degree in it, also known as "Master", which means that after this, she can go and teach the first two degrees to other people (and, in time, train someone else to become a Master, but not quite yet.), start a practice and all. Means quite a bit to her, and I kinda think it's cool (but also a bit creepy) to have a Reiki master for a mom. Someone remind me to expand on this whole "reiki" business later on, okay ? I've been stalling that subject ever since I started this blog.

Then, she's holding a reception of sorts on Friday. And as I said earlier on in this post, I'll have that other, other Open Day saturday.

Busy busy busy, but not quite as busy as some people, I'm sure. But I'm going to have to get used to it.

And now back to reading a bit more - before starting on these entries, I was reading The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Chapter six made me cry. (Yeah, I'm a big wuss. I have to admit it.)

 Gerko has a date ? for real ?

27th of May, Thursday : Trip with work to Antwerp. Got to see City Hall, and some place called "Aquatopia", being a big-ish aquarium place thingie. After that, there was good eat somewhere. What made this day all the more interesting was that I spent most of it in the company of a girl about my age, (one of the very few - most people are around 30-50 the place I work at). Sat next to each other on the bus, talked some - was nice. What I found most remarkable at the time was that she, too, reads english books, and plays console games (Oh yeah!). At the end of the day, on our way back home, thus after saying goodbye and all, our paths crossed again - somehow, and we had another little chat, in which she asked if it might not be an idea to go to the movies together sometime.

This left me a little in shock. I was a bit 'out of it' the following two days - maybe that's normal when something unsuspected and possibly life-changing happens to a person. (Yes, getting asked out on a date after one day is something 'big' for me. I know that's rather pathetic for a 20 year old, but give me a break, okay ?) Not really sure what to think of it. Mostly occupied with the thought of "How on earth did that happen ?". Only the question, I didn't even try to get an answer. It came so natural during that conversation, but afterwards I just ... Hmm .. maybe the question should have been - "How on earth did something like this not happen earlier ?", but I digress.

Then, a week passed (including a personal trip to an "Open Day" in Nijmegen, on Wednesday - to check out a study called "Creative Therapy". Was interesting enough, but I don't think I could handle the field of work after graduating that. I don't think I could be a 'professional' therapist. Too many people with too deep problems and ... well, it would break me down in a week. Maybe a month, but I'd crack. I know I would.) in which it wasn't mentioned anymore - I had written her an e-mail mentioning it, but she hadn't checked that, and I guess my social skills are still lacking to that extend that 'just going up and ask her' are not normal business. (I definatly need to work on that. But I've said so before.) Friday, though, I managed to wind up the nerve to (find her phone number in the phone book and) call her and ask. And now we are having a date next sunday evening. - Okay, so the word "date" wasn't mentioned, (nor the dutch equivalent, you wise arses.) but I think it would qualify.

So, I'm a little excited. - But am I excited because I'm having a date with this girl, or is it just because of having a date at all ?

I've only had one 'not-date' so far, in January of this year, with Larissa. That was more friendshippy than anything else, really. I do, however, have another not-date planned with her in the nearby future - and this also is giving me some consciental problems. Not too strongly, but it doesn't exactly feel right either. Let's also not forget a still open 'Possible Future Romantic Interest' with June, whom I've sort-of had a crush on around spring last year. I .. didn't mention that on my blog here, did I ? (Why the heck didn't I ? WHY the HECK NOT ?) - so that doesn't fit too rightly, either. Even if June seems to be a lot more excited than I am about me having a date. Then again, she was really excited about me having that not-date with Larissa earlier this year, too - so I guess I should be okay on her part, at least. No sense of guilt towards Elise, though, and I'll take that as a good sign.

I know I'm just worrying too much. And it's not like I'm tossing and turning and breaking myself up over it. So it's going to be just fine.

I'm just going to go have that date, see if I can enjoy myself, and if I want to worry, I'll do it afterwards. - right ? (If at all possible with a 24 hour delay, since I have my driver's test next monday. Augh !)

Sunday, May 23, 2004

 A little story.

Earlier today, I was a little bored and started writing a little story on a bit of scrap paper. It's quite the fairy tale, I must say. Here it is :

Once upon a time in a suburban area of Los Angeles, big men ate their dogs. Then, they lived happily ever after, except this one guy who died of stomach cramps.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

 2nd bloggerversary.

Jipes. I almost forgot. But I made it, with 35 minutes left on the clock till the end of the day.

Today, two years ago, I wrote my first entry on this weblog here. It still exists, though my posting habits have been going downhill since the start. Readership, too isn't what it used to be at it's high point. But, well, I hope I can change that again. Start updating a bit more reguarly, rework the lay-out again.. that sort of thing. I know I've said it before, and it never really worked out ... but. egh. I'll get it back, someday.

Hum. Most people I joined in blogging over these past two years have stopped, or are updating very sporadically. Maybe I'm a bad influence. Elise has been busy-busy with everything and hasn't been updating much the past few months. June seems to have stopped altogether, after changing blogs around a few times. Larissa has been without inspiration and time for a while too, now. Alique, I don't thinks she's been writing anything lately, either. But I couldn't know since, as I've said before, she keeps her blogs secret to everyone.

Looking at my life of the past two years since I started this blog, I can't say I've gained all that much. I've bummed around, and then later I worked for minimum wages, just making ends meet, and not really learning anything substantial. *sigh*
But let's not end this on a somewhat downish note. Looking on the brighter side of things, I have become a bit more social in real-life. I've become acquainted with June, who indirectly got me started with this blog, and I'm quite happy to have her as a friend. Also, maybe, partially, thanks to this blog, I've gotten over my 8-9 year lasting unrequited love for Elise. I joined up with Nanowrimo last year, and though I failed horribly in that attempt, I did meet another friend thanks to it (Larissa). Also because I participated in Nanowrimo, in a sort of roundabout way, two couples formed somewhere in the netherlands. Isn't that nice ? Just because I signed up for that thing, 4 people are quite a bit happier now. Haven't mentioned it before, have I ? Maybe I'll get back to it someday, since it's fairly interesting and makes me feel like my existance is worth something, even when I'm not actively trying to do be my best or anything. Y'know ?

Yeah, well, that's it. Better not drag it on, or I'll go past midnight and foil the anniversary date scheme.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

 Driving

Had my driver's lesson again this morning. Went pretty well. Exam date has been set for Monday, 7th of June, 14:55.

Now I'd better go and make it this time. Getting too bloody expensive. 'specially with my job ending one month later, and I don't have a plan on how to get some income for the time after that. (until september, at least. Then 'study-financing' should start up again)

Monday, May 10, 2004

 Augh. What *am* I going to do about this ?

Moan, groan, mumble and moan some more. Blogger has new stuffies. Some are quite cool. But I ... *ugh* ... what am I going to do with it ? WHAT !? I mean, sure it looks fine right now. But it'll be outdated soon. *ugh* Comments ... stay with YACCS or move on to Blogger's system ? Can I make blogger's system act like YACCS ? Partially, I think. But not completely. But maybe I shouldn't even try that and just keep it full paged. But I spent quite some energy in making that YACCS thing look proper. And what am I going to do about this profile business ? Big sigh. Big, big sigh.

 Probably a very common subject around the blogging world today.

Blogger updated itself. Or rather, the people at blogger did some serious reworking on the layout and structure of their tool, and it looks as though it's grown into quite a bit more than what it used to be. Comments, profiles ... I'm going to have to go check this out and update my template again. I mean, sure, YACCS comments are cool, but if blogger can have it's own ... Anyway, things to check out. I think it also wants to put the author's profile on the main page and ... Hmmm

Well, I'll see. I'll see.

 Back, with recap.

Ugh. About time I started writing again. I wonder, though, why I choose to do this at a quarter past midnight, when I have to get up in measely six and a half hours.

The past few weeks have been pretty well, I suppose.

I signed up for the gym across the street. Yeah, it took me two years to figure out there really was one and that it might be a good idea to check it out and get some workout every now and then. Been there four times now, at about a twice per week schedule. I can feel my muscles aching gently the next day, but they haven't hurt yet. Maybe I need to push myself more, but I'm not sure how. I really do think I'm close to my max when doing all the weight pushing, pulling and whatnot things, and I can't go all the way on the X minute endurance things because my heartrate would be getting too high. (according to some graphs) Oh well, I'll see, I guess. I'm not sure if "fun" is the right word, but at least say that I don't dislike going there. So's good, and I'll try to keep it up. (my body needs it)

As said in the last entry, I got my bike back. Getting it fixed back up didn't go without a hitch either, though. At first they only fixed some external damage, but left the gears and back wheel alone, with the suggestion to place in a ... back-peddle break ? - no gears. Didn't quite like that suggestion too much, though. I kinda need those gears. Well, 'need' is perhaps too big a word, but let's not forget that in effect, it wouldn't turn out any better than my new/old bike. Which I got for 50 Euros. (Quite a bit less than what the repairs are costing. Good thing Dad's paying for it in return for me helping him out with his proggies at work.) Oh, and let's not forget some problems Mom had with paying for the repairs, ending up overpaying some 220 Euros or so. But she got it back, took a while, but the store admitted their mistake.
(Don't ask me how my mom ended up paying for the repairs while Dad was supposed to do this. I'm not entirely sure, and just writing out what I do know about it is would be quite boring.) Anyway, the stolen bike is all fixed up now, and is currently at home-home in the garage, waiting for me to give it a test ride. Stupid me forgot to do so this past weekend. Oops.

In other news, I bought a webcam early last week. My PC wasn't too happy about it, though, and committed suicide. Five system restores, re-installation of drivers and a borred webcam from a housemate made me give up my attempts of getting it to work. This PC is up for a complete clean out, and soon, too. On a side note, the 'cam works just fine at home-home. Yarr. So if you want to catch my mug on some IM service, try the weekends.

Okay, so it's getting pretty late now, so I'll quickly sum up the rest of the newsworthy things.

There's a new housemate in the ... euh, house. Named Tom. Seems like a nice guy. Don't think he has any affiliation with Jerry. Doesn't have quite the same musical tastes as I do, but he's quite considerate with the volume. Think I'm going to like having this guy around.

Had a phone call with June again last thursday. It was really nice, maybe mostly because somehow I had the ability to talk naturally without that all-too-often-dominant taciturn cover. Also, just because talking with June is nice. (Oh, and did I mention she might come over here for a while to the netherlands in the forseeable future ?) I'm not sure what caused it myself, but June had some theory about my sudden surge of talkative behavior. I quite disagree with it.

Leiden University finally came through with their requirements for my entry exams, "Colloquium Doctum", and it's pretty much what I expected, even though it is quite a whole lot, and I'm not sure if I can actually make it in so short a time. The search for an alternative study continues.

I got a haircut saturday morning. Last one was in the first half of March, if I recall correctly, so it was high time again.

Saturday afternoon, I went with Dad, his girlfriend and my siblings to the circus that was performing close by. Was nice, though Alique was suffering quite badly from menstrual cramps. Poor Sis' ... :(
We brought her home after the performance, and then the rest of us left again to eat out somewhere. I keep being reminded how child-like my dad's gf can be in some situations. Incredibly clingy, absolutely no patience, and any courtesy would be hard to find in her. Tough case of ADHD, it would be called by many. Though not by herself or my dad, since ADHD doesn't excist (or something like that, anyway) according to Scientology. *rolls eyes*
But ah, she's not a bad sorts, and it's Dad who has to deal with her most of the time. Guess I just have to be glad she's not my girlfriend. Heh.
Oh, and during that dinner, dad also attempted some father-son talk and asked me when the last time was when I'd "gotten some". My answer was (quite truthfully) that it must've been in a past life.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

 IT HATH RETURNED ! *

(*: apologies to Douglas Charles Sauncy)

Monday. After a weekend of wrecking nights playing some stupid console game, and being generally annoyed and on a short fuse, I left home-home and headed for work by train. Work was pretty much the same as usual, only a little more tiring considering I had messed up my sleeping schedule the weekend before. (Still recovering from it, actually. Not Good.) After work, however, instead of taking the train or bus home, I had an appointment with my driving instructor. (This was because something had gone wrong with my previous appointment thursday, where I waited for him in Middelburg near work, while he was waiting for me in Vlissingen near my student-home-place-thingie. Afterwards, we couldn't really figure out whose fault it was, so we decided to split the costs. And have the next appointment on this here monday.) Driving went reasonable, (kind-of-as-usual, which really should change.) and after some 50 minutes of that, I was dropped off in Vlissingen.

I got out of the car, waved goodbye, stepped around the corner. And stopped dead in my tracks. I looked. I blinked. I dropped my bag. I laughed. I looked a bit closer and laughed some more.

Right in front of me, less than a street away from where I live, stood my stolen bike. ... Okay, not stolen anymore, apparently, so let's scrap that. Right in front of me stood my stolen vandalized bike. Someone'd got on, and forced riding on it while locked. Result : Lock unhinged from frame, spokes of the wheel broken, flat tire and a messed up mudshield. There was also something wrong with the gears. But ... I had my bike back. Messed up or no, my bike was back in my possession.

Dragging it back to the front of my student-place-thingie, I placed it against the wall, went up to my room and called home.

(sort-of translated into english, also not an accurate recount.)


[Mom] Tineke de Zeeuw.
[Gerko] Hi mom.
[Mom] Hey Gerko. I tried calling earlier but I figured you weren't home yet so I didn't but now you called and ...
[Gerko] ...
[Mom] Well, I went to the local bicycle repair shop for your brothers bike and they had these bikes for sale, so I bought you one. It's an old one, but they had only 4 for sale, and 3 of them were lady's bikes, and Michart tried this one out and said it rides very nice, despite it's oldness. I think you'll like it, since you have this like for old things.
[Gerko] ... Mom, I found my own bike back.
[Mom] What ?
[Gerko] *laughs*, Well, but it's kinda messed up, can't ride it.


That continued for a while, and ended in me heading back home-home by train to come and check out the bike, fiddle with some new phones, watch Star Trek (it still sucks) and get brought back here with new/old bike later that evening, while mom could load in my stolen bike to take it to the bicycle repair man and maybe leave it at home-home for back up. That last part didn't happen, and I ended up leaving home-home tuesday morning, head to work by train, take the afternoon off from work to spend it at my dad's place who also needed my services for some computer program that's still messsing up. (Well, it shouldn't anymore, now.) *pfffffft* Then, the bike-switcheroo happened that evening.

So today, I got to use my new/old bike, and it indeed rides like a charm, though without gears it's not too great for long distances. (Work, at 6-7 kilometers, is doable. But not much more, please.) It feels a little 'small' (though it isn't, really), thin (again, isn't) and old (IS). It's good. A little weird, but good. I think I'm going to love this thing.

Okay, quite incoherent, but I'm still tired from last weekend (and the traveling of the past days). So you're going to have to forgive me. Now it's sleepy time.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

 ... Well, that's a bummer.

...

Getting home from a long Easter Weekend at home-home, I have the distinct impression that someone might have stolen my bike.

Well, gee. uh, I guess I'll have to use the train tomorrow to get to work.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

 Books. Lots of 'em.

Okay, blogging time again. Going to keep it a little short this time, though, 'cause I'm rather busy with some stuff.

I've been reading a lot lately. Hard at work with Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle) and the Discworld series (Terry Pratchett). I'm on 4 out of 7-9 (not sure) of the Sherlockian series. And I've read 6 Discworld books so far, out of, uh ... 36 (!?).

Currently, though, my reading has turned to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There (Lewis Carroll). Which is rather nice, even though Charles Dodgson was pretty much a pedophile. (The, um, 'real life' name of the author, Lewis Carroll being his pen name.)

Hmmm ... nothing too much else to tell. Well, okay, that's not true, still have quite a bunch of past happenings that would like to be told, but I'm not up for it now. *shrugs*

 Today Yesterday (dumb blogger)

Oh, looks like blogger thinks it's tomorrow already. (Yes, I know I can change the date, but I'm, uh, lazy or sumin') But instead of starting on Feb or March right now, let's momentarily skip forward to April.

April Fool's went by unnoticed, aside from hearing Mom and Alique laugh at some bit of false news in the newspaper.

Last evening, I went to some 'open evening' at the walking-distance college I used to go to. Mostly just to please one of my councilors. (Wow, yeah. Looks like Gerko is so messed up he needs more than one. Bundles of joy !) Walked around a bit. Looked around a bit. Read a bit and decided that the studies he aimed me at really weren't my thing, even though I'd already known that but he believe me on basis on me not having proper arguements for it. On the same grounds, he disapproves of my sort-of decision/plan to go study English Language & Culture in Leiden.

Speaking of which, I signed up for that Colloquium Doctum thing back in mid-feb, and still haven't recieved a final reply with requirements. Yarr.

Oh, and I have too many free days left at work. My contract ends the 7th of July, with no hope of renewal, (Which is a good thing.) and I still have most of my free days left. Going to have to plan a vacation of sorts, I suppose. 'course, there's no money to go on vacation, but oh well. I'll see. Anyone got some suggestions where to use those free days on ?

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

 Back, and recap on January

Eh, how long has it been ? Before I get to some subject which might be of some interest, I'm wondering what exactly the thing is that changed my writing habit into a not-writing habit. Okay, so I I've always had that not-writing habit, but then I wonder where my 'do-writing' habit went to, and why. Or where it came from. Hum. And to complete this stupid little paragraph, I do not know. Ha!

So anyway, here's my decision to get that habit back, because I need it. I feel better when I write stuff. Some sense of accomplishment or just the act of doing something constructive to lift one's spirits.

Taking a trip down history lane of this year, Gerko has had a 'not-date' with Larissa in January. (Ooooh !)

• In Amsterdam, where they went to see Boom Chicago. Which was pretty cool. She had been there before and felt the experience share-worthy. Gerko definatly agreed.


• Before the show, there was dinner. Gerko got some mountain of nachos with molten cheese, and some sauces. Larissa opted for a less exotic hamburger and fries. It was ... interesting. We both got about half-way before we had had 'quite enough', and let the kind waitress people take our plates away.


• The show itself was great. Improv and sketches. 'specially during the improv stuff it was just really cool to see the 'magic' happening on stage.
  
• This was also Gerko's first experience anything close to a date. If a 'real date' would be a place, Gerko's previous experiences would have been on another planet. This could have been called 'next door'. (Okay, maybe not that close, but at least the same town.) Naturally, Gerko was quite scared, but he didn't show it too much. (Aside from mentioning that he was carrying around a pair of scissors in his backpack.)

Thursday, March 25, 2004

 Pleasing the Black Brain.

[blah-blah-blah]
Brian Black insist that I write an update, so here it is.

I've got bucketloads to tell, and much more, but for now, I'll stick to this week's news : Gerko failed his driver's test once again. So much for 'three times' a charm', but hey, I'm still alive.

Maybe more about this, uh, later ? (yeah, right)

HAPPY NOW !?

Saturday, February 28, 2004

 Snowlady Mk. II

Well, there was snow again. Was, 'cause it's already melting and whatnot. Siblings were nice enough to save some for me by making two huge balls of 'em.

So anyway, here's no-longer-Pregnant-Snowlady, Mk. II

Monday, February 23, 2004

 GFloved

Tyuopin with gklovess on is pretty nifty, dont you think >? gerko fcn sdorta type likej thisl m-Hmm

thAT Is alll. (for nowt_)

Saturday, February 14, 2004

 Will shave and shower after this.

Gerko's currently feeling like utter excrement. In the past week, I probably only had one decent dinner. I managed to get myself out of bed on time grand number of ZERO times, but somehow managed to get be late at work only once. I haven't been writing on my blog. Okay, so I'm reading again, but very sparsely. I haven't done my laundry, the dishes, cleaned my room (high time again) or just about anything constructive. Also, I'm shaving about half of the time I'm supposed to, making me look like an unshaven bum about ... uh ... half the time.

And to top it off, I had planned to be at home-home some 16 hours ago or so, but I am no nearer to leaving my room here than I was yesterday. Still have to pack my clothes, shower, shave, clean up (if only just a little), gather some of the stuff I need for monday. (Oh, that's right. uh, will tell later ? or not. SIGH)

I feel like I just can't get myself to do ANYTHING. Except maybe whine about it. [example in place : this entry]

The only good thing I think I can mention now is that feelings this way has nothing, and I mean nothing to do with the date. So, YAY ! Gerko's not all depressed and wallowing in his own misery because it's Valentine's Day, he's wallowing in his own misery and being depressed just because that's what he is at the moment. ... isn't that great ?

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

 WAHOO!

I've written two posts for my own site, but they refuse to show even though i've published and REpublished for a billion times now!!!! looks like i'll just have to keep using Gerko's pad to scribble =D

Had a very late dinner today....waited an hour for Mc Donalds to deliver....when they finally did, i was already halfway to Nirvana (uhh...the place you go after you die, not the band). So here I am, deeply caffeinated (i don't understand why people spell it 'caffinated'...is it my mistake? or theirs?) with a thick romance novel i borrowed from Anne (to keep me occupied because i've already watched my japanese love serial - a total of eight discs - thrice. I'm sad, i know) Law class at 9.30 tomorrow....looks like more coffee....

Valentine's day is coming up. As always, i will march along with the band of singletons protesting against overpriced heart-shaped plush toys and teddy bears holding out big fat roses. My most memorable valentine's day was spent having a huge dinner with a huge bunch of old friends celebrating our state of singletondom (how come 'singletondom' is synonymous with 'condom' when the two hardly come hand in hand ... unless one is a whore, of course. In which case they would be bread and butter, Adam and Eve, Santa and Rudolph, Lilo and Stitch, Cornflakes and Milk....uhh...ok not cornflakes and milk - as you can see i'm getting really crap at this so i'll stop now.)

If any of you out there have read this month's CLEO, you'd have read the article about women who have everything before the age of 30. Two kids, a glamourous career, fifty pairs of Jimmy Choos, a celebrity husband who is also a co-star in personally-produced sitcom, etc....maybe i've got the love bug....i don't even believe in marriage! why am i thinking of attaining those things?? especially since Colin Firth is already married??!! I can see myself at age thirty....single...alone...hopefully with a fat tabby cat curled up by my side while i snuggle up in bed at an ungodly hour, deeply caffeinated, reading a fat romance novel by some frog author....... Ahh...it will all pass...it always does.... (when the dog bites! when the bee stings! when i'm feeeeeling saddddddd~~~i simply stuff my face with fat-ten-ning foood and then i don't feeeeel SOOOOOO bADDDDDDDDDD~~~~~~~~~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA THANK GOD FOR JULIE ANDREWS!!!!!!!!!!)

oooh, apparently my calf is pure muscle because it is hard to the touch......oooooo......HAHAHAHHAA i am now on the supermodel highway heading towards a world without cellulite!!!! YEEEHAW!!!!!!!


should brush teeth and curl up in bed with Sheila O'Flanagan (the author). She's Irish. I've never read a book by an Irish author before. Will there be lots of talk about pots of gold and little men with pointy ears and green tunics? what are they called again? LEPRECHAUNS!!!!!! HAHAHAHA I"M SO SMART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 09, 2004

 La Internette

I should be ashamed of myself. Instead of posting at my own place I am here contaminating Gerko's blog... (snicker)

This is going to be a very 'at the moment' sort of post.

I'm currently in the study room on the first floor of my apartment block and apart from me there is but one middle eastern man (who smiled warmly when i first came in but now appears to be rather annoyed with my typing and constant sighing) So why am I here when i have internet connection in the comfort of my own room? Because the internet connection in my own room sucks, of course. It's much faster down here for some reason... [i have this theory...don't laugh...i think it's cuz the internet pulses...or ...how should i put it...hmm...lets liken it to a steady upward flow of liquid, shall we?...ok so the internet is like this giant thermometer whose mercury flows upwards within my apartment block - the heat is generated by the people living here. And so it takes longer for the liquid to reach the higher floors. And since i happen to live on the eighteenth floor, i should expect snail speed. (Shut up you. Yeah you, laughing at the back there)]

But anyways, the middle eastern dude has just flung his pencil down in frustration and gone "ARGH *$()#&%*#" (the symbols stand for the arab words i don't understand...at least i THINK it's arab)....i think he's doing math....i will never understand why people choose to do math..to me, math is a lovely thing when you know how to do it. When you don't, it becomes this mean-ass, vile monster that teases you till you're left gritting your teeth and pulling your hair out while it giggles in satisfaction.

But i digress.

School has been good so far. I sometimes hate school so much. But i don't know what i would do if i were not attending it. Skiving classes and wasting time at stupid places tends to get boring after a while....but like math, it too is a big pain in the ass once it becomes an integral part of your life. I need to do this in order to get that. I need to go here in order to get there. I need to sleep now because i HAVE to. Isn't that complete torture when you come to think of it?? And yet i choose to put myself through all this and plan to go through even more of it later.....

I have decided to run to the library to see if i can get on MSN there being the (self- confessed) internet junkie that i am. Maybe will post again there.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

 London!

Greetings from London!

With about 160 first year students we're staying in London for a midweek. I hope I'll improve my English here a little bit. I think I will because my two roommates speak English all the time. One of them comes from Wales and the other one has been living for three years in Canada (English speaking part).

After a trip of two hours with the train to 'Hoek van Holland', then four hours on a boat to Harwich, and finally another two hours by bus to the hotel in London... I was exhausted (do you spell it this way?) (Weird... getting tired of just doing nothing). And now after a whole day walking I'm tired again. But it really is worthed.

Maybe next time I'll tell you more, because everything is very expensive here in London, also acces to the internet. And I thought everything in Holland was expensive..

Bye!

Sunday, February 01, 2004

 Again, a not-posting streak.

I had planned to write some entries weekend. I really did. I don't know what happened, really. Were malicious, computer-hording siblings the cause for my non-writing ? Perhaps. Maybe it was that Command & Conquer : Generals game my brother bought recently that distracted me from my duties. Or maybe my inspiration is just dead ? Or maybe I have so much to write about that it has become too much to start on it, and I've thrown myself into another procrastinative binge ?

In any case, I probably won't be able to blog during the next week, either, because, as it is, my computer in Flushing died. Or rather, crashed beyond immediate repair. Explorer crashes every 30 seconds or so, as well as any program that even thinks about connecting to the internet. All I can do now is hope that the CD-burning program *will* work, back up some of the files I'd rather not do without, and then do a compleet re-install. Thing was getting messy anyway.

If all goes well, I might be back a little earlier. if it goes wrong, well, at least I'll be back next weekend. In the meantime, someone please force me to write some entries anyway. I'm sure I could, even if they won't be uploaded immediately. I will still be able to check my mail from work, so don't hesitate to contact me through my hotmail account.

Go ahead, make my day. PLEASE!

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

 Hi again!

Well... I'm trying to get some stuff ready for tomorrow.... But the computer is not doing what I want it to do! Aaagh! And tomorrow it hás to work because tomorrow is the day I think I will completely die because I'll have to show ALL my work to ALL my teachers together and because half of it is crap and because I don't even feel comfortable enough to show it to my near family and because they'll give me a mark for it and because I just don't think I'll survive... (maybe a little bit overreacted...)

But... the day after tomorrow I'll have a short vacation of two days. Yeey! Four days if you include the weekend. Dubble Yeey!

Maybe then I'll be able to write some clearer stuff...

 breaking another night

Augh. Wanted to write some entries, but got distracted by updating the comment box. Tried giving it the same lay-out as this one, or at least, something close to it. Doesn't it look cute ?

Yes, it does, but I'm not sure about functionality. I may fiddle with it more some later, but for now, I'm happy. And tired. Now leave a comment !

Friday, January 16, 2004

 Yeeey!

Thankies Gerko, for inviting me. But you have no idea how I'm going to ruin your blog! Harhahaha. So.... let's write some nonsense down here.... hmmm.... Well, to start, Hi to everyone who knows me or heared about me from Gerko or is reading this... I'm Gerko's Evilllish Sister, gna gna gna (evil sounds in Dutch). Oh, and please forgive me for all the mistakes I'll be going to make while writing in English. I'm not as good in English as my big brother. Whatever.

I think this is enough text for the first time, just to find out how it will look on the site. Oooooh. Exciting!

Byes!

Sunday, January 11, 2004

 Uhm, hi!

*Okay breathe, please.* I know Gerko already said/wrote something about me posting here. I also know he was a little scared to let me and to be quite honest; I'm a little too.
I normally don't blog in english, although I have tried it a few times.
So why do this? Well Gerko posted on my blog too, in dutch (shocker huh?) so I really think I should do something for him too. :) Besides that I'm, trying to find the right word for it, I can't really say a fan of the language, but I do like it a lot. Anyway I'm going to stop now, because I seem to be creeping out Gerko.. *evil laugh* See you next time, if there will be one anyway.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

 A new layout.

Took me a lot longer than it should have, but here's what I've been busy with most of the past week. I think it looks nice. Still not entirely sure what to do with everything, but I've got most of it pinned down. And I must say, I am a little proud of it. Kept the basic lay-out of the old one, but ripped out the entire code and rewrote it myself. Then, just when it looked about the same again, I thought of introducing some more upgrades, and well ... this is the result.

Cleaned out the links section, too. Some links died, others I didn't visit anymore. Also, I should get starting on writing some entries. Elise had a 5 question interview thrown her way, and she was kind enough to throw another 5 questions my way. So I'd have something to blog about. That was a little while ago, though. And I haven't anwsered those questions, and -blah -blah -blah

I'll get started on those questions soonish. I'm also hoping to (also very soonish) make extra page, with some 'static' information me, this blog, some more links (like, to webcomics I read), and perhaps a history thing like the different books that've passed through the bookcounter and the Speaking of which, I'm not entirely sure what to do with the book counter I had. Put it back ? if so, where ? hum ...

Anyway ... what do you think ?

Monday, January 05, 2004

[author of blog currently busy rewriting the wheel]