Gerko's Weblog

Monday, September 30, 2002

Well .. hum ... today ...
's more or less final now ... I'm dropping out of college. At least for this school year. Might pick up my studies again after the summer holiday, but now I'm on a definate break from my studies ... Going to finish it all down this week ... Hum ... I wonder how long I'll be able to stay in my student-home now, not being a student anymore ...

Now, this isn't going to be a vacation ... I'm going to have to do more than what I've been doing the last couple of years ... Just not school-related ... Oh well .. will elaborate on this soonish, I hope ... got a lot of other stuff to write about, too ...

But first, I'm going to prepare dinner ... Spaghetti for ... 5, I think ...

Sunday, September 29, 2002

I'm having some serious problems with getting out of bed lately ... Hum .. waking up isn't the problem, but getting out of bed is, for some reason. Maybe because I'm generally down and don't want to start the day. Don't want to 'live', as it were ... Bleagh ... Oh well ...

Thursday, September 26, 2002

Also, I haven't been reading that children's book ...
And I haven't been cooking lately, either ... I'm not that far behind on schedule yet, but I really should be doing that again soonish ... Oh well, just cook two times next week and I'm ahead of schedule again ... not too much of a problem.

In some brighter news, I have decided that I should actually start on doing stuff some more. I started out "OK" tuesday by continueing // brushing up my knowledge of "C". ( "C" being a programming language ... not used all that much anymore, but it is considered to be one of the most mainstream ones ... and not too bad to start out with.) ... and I should be getting some other things done, too ... made a list of sorts, even ...

Oh well ...

Argh ! ...

Just me being all fed up with myself ... for not blogging, for not doing other stuff ... for ... whatever ...

~sigh~ ... Oh well ... Anyway, last couple of days I've been 'busy' playing a pirated copy of WCIII ... it's a good game, I guess. Think I should feel a bit guilty about not paying for it, though, it being new and all ... Oh well, I won't be able to play on-line with it because of the piracy, but I wasn't really planning on doing that anyway. So ... *shrugs* ... Last night I got bored with the fighting and doing all the stuff, but was still interested in the story, so I looked up some cheats and finished the next 4 levels or so using some god-mode. I feel lame now. I should go and replay 'em properly ... soonish ...

In other news that really made me put a downer on my self-image for today is that I managed to miss an appointment at college with the supervisor (don't know the english name, so I'm making one up) about how // what I'm going to do the rest of the school year ... Drop out completely or put it on an official "Hold" or ... whatever ... had an appointment at 10:00 am, sort-of-woke up in time, but dozed off and didn't wake up untill 10:12, so I called and said I would be late // couldn't make it. Re-scheduled the talk for next monday. Missing that appointment made me go all "...", and made me crawl back into bed till 14:04 ...

Also, I was / am supposed to visit my grandmother sometime soonish ... she's in the hospital now, due to a broken leg (well, something like that ... don't know enough terms to describe it properly) ... and she'll has to stay in bed for a couple of weeks. And I haven't exactly let her hear from me yet, and I was kinda planning to do that this week ...

And, ofcourse, I'm also fed up about not blogging about all kinds of other older stuff, and the longer I wait the worse it will get. And they're real important stuff, too ...

Oh well ... I'll be fine ... just ...

*thinks about taking a shower and going for a walk and maybe buy some stuff at the store*

Monday, September 23, 2002

mmmmmmm ... Must get more from what I got tonight ...

sleep gooooooooooooooooooooood ....

Hrmmm ...
*very tired*
(and cold!)

Friday, September 20, 2002

[POSTPONING OTHER URGENT STUFF I HAVE TO WRITE DOWN]
[Guess what ? .. I don't care]
(wait, I do, nevermind, still postponing it)

I don't want to know my phone bill next month ...
I really, really don't ...

I don't call people that much ... and my bill usually stays around the €4 mark ... not sure if that's for one or two months ... I think two. So, yeah, I don't call people that much.

So, what did I do, you ask ? ...
I made a long distance call. I called June, in Malaysia, from this here place, in The Netherlands ... there's a 6-hour time difference, and it's on the other hemisphere ... so ... that'd make the distance about ... 1/3 of the earth ? ... That's long-distance alright. And the conversation lasted for about 9 minutes ... so ...

As I said, I don't want to know my next phone bill ...

...

...

Wait, actually, I /DO/ want to know ...
So guess what I just did ? ... I looked up the rates.

The Netherlands -> Malaysia : €0.48/minute.

14:14:40	end of call, local time

14:05:20	start of call, local time

--------

00:09:20	calling time, give or take 10 seconds

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

So, I'm wondering why I'm not writing this stuff down ... it's some very important stuff, and yet ...

Egh, well, latest update here, mostly 'bout today or whatever ... Dang, it really, really needs that backstory, I guess, even though I don't think they're that related, but still ... Humph ...

Anyway, I haven't been doing much, if anything, the last couple of days ... I didn't go to college yesterday, and I didn't go today, either. ~sigh~ ... And I'm not really sure why. I'm just in one of those 'nothingness'-dips or whatever. Doing nothing and feeling kinda bad about that, resulting in doing even less. ... Heh, oh well ... Tried walking it off some time ago, but it didn't really work (really didn't) ... At least got some fresh air, though. Also, college's been bugging me more about my decision of going through with it or not. ... Last time, I said I was just going to, but now ... ? I'm not sure. I totally lack the motivation currently, and well ... continueing this year and not making it would be quite disasterous. Financially, mostly, but it'd be a mental downfall as well ... I mean, really, I would've wasted two years... I mean, sure, quitting now would mean I'd have wasted about 1½ years, but still, I did learn quite a bit of stuff, at least concerning independancy, and I did get a look at some other ... stuff ... Also, it'd mean I'd probably have to get a job or so untill next year (I am going to study something, I know I'm not ready for a full-time job, not by far) ... so financially, that'd be ... better ... Hum ... not sure if I could keep this room, though ... But I think for half a year, or ¾ years, it wouldn't be that bad, as long as I intend to go back to studying after that.

But basicly ... I do not know, nor care ...

~sigh~

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Well, it's been a while since I last wrote anything ...

I already had a backlog of stuff to write about, and now ... Well, let's just say a lot happened the last couple of days ... Definatly stuff I have to write down, but ... hum, still don't feel like writing it down that much. Haven't had much problems talking (through MSN//ICQ/AIM) to people about it, but I'm just not used to writing on this thing anymore. Hum ... well ...

Anyway, a lot has happened, and I don't really know where to start. Or maybe I do, but just don't feel like it. Egh ... So uhm ... Well, I think I'm going to watch some movie with my house-roomies this evening again ... So uh ... well, take care people, and bug me about writing down new stuff or ... or ... or I might not write it down !

*gasps*

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

post to be edited

[edit #1 - sept 17]
Yeah ... well .... I dunno what, really ... I think this was a big date ... lot of stuff ... just felt like I should post something about that/this day, but ... meh, I haven't been writing at all, really ... so ... hum .... maybe later, when I'm done writing the other new stuff

Monday, September 09, 2002

Follow-up on last week's saturday entry (31st of August)

So, I called at about 5 past 10 pm ... there was no-one to pick it up, though. Got some voicemail message. Didn't feel like leaving a message. Had already more-or-less given up on the idea, when about half an hour later she appeared on-line. Wheeee ! Then, I did one of the boldest things I've ever done in my life. I told her to go open the door, set my MSN status to "Be Right Back", I got up from my seat, walked downstairs, picked up the "Card" and flower/plant, didn't bother to say "bye" to my younger brothers watching TV, left the house through the front door, almost-closed it and walked diagonally across the street and rang the doorbell on Elise's house.

Sure, might sound like 'nothing', but I'm a real passive person, I'm very unfamiliar with taking action ... so, yeah, for me, it was 'something' ... I should do it more often though. Taking action, that is. Be the protagonist at times. It'd be good for me. Heh ... Oh well, I'll try.

Now, I expected to be back in a minute or two, just dropping off the "card" and flower/plant and continueing the conversations on MSN. Evident by the "Be Right Back" on MSN, leaving the front door open, and not notifying my brothers where I was. (Was home-alone with the two of 'em, Mom and my sisters were away for the weekend) ... But Elise had other plans ... My initial startledment and hesitation when she asked me to come inside were kinda justified, but it surely wasn't an offer I could refuse.

When I left the next day (HEY ! ... 0:14 am ... don't get any ideas ...) I was one (1) self-burned CD (with a Birthday card in HTML-format on it, and the rest filled with MP3's I had laying around) and one (1) plant in a blueish-purple-violet pot (I'm colorblind, Elise, help me out here, will you ? ) poorer, and a whole bunch ( many ) of stories about her introduction weeks, one (1) look at her room and one (1) smile richer.

Back home nothing had changed, the front door was still open, and my brothers were still watching TV.

Anyway ... A couple of days later, we named the plant, and dubbed it "El Enrico", anagrammed from Elise's second name.

Sunday, September 08, 2002

Waaaaah ! :-(

www.thispagecannotbedisplayed.com is down ... that site was funny !

*sniffles*

Oh, yes, more non-completely silly stuff coming up next. (I hope... yell at me if I'm not writing)

Friday, September 06, 2002

Well, internet's back ... MSN is acting up again, though... Oh well ...
Laundry's in the laundry-machine ... waiting for it now ... Didn't much understand anything that was written on it, but I think I got the right settings ... (had to double check with my mom, though)

Hum ... so ... hmmm ... I think there's more stuff to write ... but ... meh. later

Some months ago, before the summer break already, I started reading some children's book. "Toen Nora nog sprak met dolfijnen", which would translate into "When Nora still spoke with dolphins". Meant for readers 10 years old and up.

Now there's some back-story to this book. It was handed out back in elementary school, I was 10, I think. The story in the book is about a family coping with CF, cystic fybrosis, a particualary nasty disease. Genetically transferable, (non-dominant gene) and concerns mostly thick slime in the lungs. One of my classmates, and one of my best real-life friends, was suffering from it, (Still is, thank God, it's not common to live that long with CF, most die young.) and through some channels with the hospital and some medicine producers and stuff, the book was made freely available for my class.

I feel a bit guilty about not reading it back then, so I guess I'm now trying to make up for that. I'm still not sure why I didn't read it before, I suppose I didn't read much back then, and maybe I didn't read it because I was supposed to read it. Still, weird that it had to take me this long to pick it up again.

Currently on page 65/142, and it's a pretty good book. I'm taking it slow with it, not especially on purpose, but ... Well, I'm not sure why it's taking me so long. It's written in a easy style, the font is rather large, and 142 pages isn't quite that much either ... Although the style is rather easy, I would not consider it to be a childish book. Sure, it has some parts of that youthfull innocence and enthusiasm, but that's just part of it. Characters are deep, or at least, seem real. And it's got a bunch of drama as well, not just some "youths out on an adventure". Also, as a plus, it has dolphins, depicted as intelligent, mysterious creatures ... (I like dolphins.) The style is easy, but it doesn't read as a children's book. Maybe the fact that this book was the author's first book intended for younger audiences plays some part in that. Overall, it's a warm, but sad, book. One to remember, I'd say.

Short day today at college. Had a computerized test about Systems Engineering. Scored a respectable 75% ... (that's pretty good, especially if you consider that the average for this test was about 50% or lower. It was a nasty one.) ... still, System Engineering sucks ... Well, IMHO, ofcourse, but still ...

Seems like they've put up some rule about not being able to use the HZ-PC's for personal usuage between 8:00 and 18:00 (HZ = Hogeschool Zeeland // High School Zealand, the college/university/whatever I'm attending) ... Well, I'm sure it's a rule that won't be too strictly enforced, but ... dang ... kind of sucks. Especially now that the local LAN is experiencing some problems again, and I'm unable to post this stuff on my blog untill I get internet access back. Shouldn't take too long, though. Not that it matters. In more independance-related talk, Mom told me I'm going to have to do my own laundry. I mean ... uh ... sure. There's a washer and dryer just 5 feet from my bed (in the bathroom), and I have a bit of experience with doing the laundry at home-home. Still, it's a bit scary. ... Also, I think I'm a bit nuts. *looks at plastic crate filled with neatly folded dirty clothes*

Thursday, September 05, 2002

TO board is back .... yay ! .. I missed it ... *sniffles*
Also, just done with house-cleaning ... gave a good soaping (?) to the toilet, floor, and washbasin, and vacuumed the hall as well ...
Now I'm going to take a shower myself ... After that, more scht00pid studying, and I suppose I could try and write some more, too ...

In some other news ... sad news, that is, The Order's board is down. Has been since yesterday, I believe ...
I miss my "home on the web" ... Oh well, it should be up again soonish ... still ... I miss it every time I'm browsing through my "Favourites" folder, automatically click on it and wait to see some error ... *sniffles*

But, as I said, it should be back up and running soon. At least, I hope so ...

Well, I'm back at my student-home in Flushing. Have been since last monday. I suppose things are fine ... just been unable to push myself to write again ... Only way to start writing again is by doing it ... and ... well, it's hard. I'm just going to have to get used to writing again. Well .. uh, I think I've written that about 10 times before already ... so uh ...

Anyway, I'm back in Flushing. Some things changed, but it's mostly the same as how I left it a couple of months ago. The two guys on my floor moved one floor down, and there's two (new) girls on my floor now. They're ok. Also, it's still very hot on my room during summer-time. I'm on the top floor (up 3 stairs), and have this one big-ass window on the south, which cannot be opened, and one small window next to it that can be opened, but not that far, and it's a small window. *pfffft* ... well, today's OK ... but I wasn't feeling too great yesterday. Although I'm not sure if it was strictly heat-related. Maybe I just caught some virus or something ... Well, let me start at the start. Monday : back to school. After some introductionary classes I got go home. From what I found on my room, it was obvious that a certain animal had spent some time there in my absence. A cat. Yes, cats are nice. I like cats. There were loads of muddy paw-prints on the desk, hairs on my bed, and some more muddy paw-prints on the wall beneath that small window. I thought it kinda cute, although I don't think my roommates shared that notion. ( "Ew, juck." ) ... Sleeping that night was kinda troublesome, though, I had a coughing fit. I hadn't changed the sheets, (Hey, I had only slept on it once before. Even though that was back in July ...) and I'm guessing I should have. Coughs and shortness of breath had soon taken it's toll on me, and made me flee from the room to the balcony one floor down, to get some fresh air. Didn't help much, once I start on that shortness-of-breath thing, it stays for a while. After about half an hour or so, I thought it ready to return to my room. Then I did change the sheets, and after some more time of coughing and wheezing, I fell asleep, only to wake up early again for a class that started at 8:15, which I wasn't supposed to attend. Back in my room, looking around at all the dust that had accumulated in those months, I decided it was time for some vacuum cleaning. And so it happened that at Tuesday 9:35 am, september 3rd, 2002, for the very first time since I had taken occupation of the room in februari, I was vacuuming my room. Possibly waking up some roomies in the process. So far, I haven't had a second coughing fit. That evening, the house got together and watched some ripped movie on a PC. Nurse Betty ... it was ... uh ... well .. I dunno. Kinda weak, lame ...

But, as I said earlier, that wasn't the end of my health problems. Wednesday, attending some class, I started feeling kinda weak. Headache, lightheaded, bit dizzy, and just weak/tired. Thankfully, I just had 2 hours of classes, but on the not-so-bright-side, I had to cook for the house that evening, and spending some time on my over-heated, stuffy (even though I vacuumed) room, didn't help much. So I spent some more time on the balcony outside the kitchen. After that, still not feeling too great, I decided I'd better get out and go out and buy the stuff I needed to cook dinner with. Still undecided on what I was going to cook, I spent about an hour walking back and forth through the airconditioned supermarket. Not that that helped my ailment. It was *cold* there, and I thought about dropping to the floor a few times. (although the urge wasn't that strong. Heh.) ... I eventually decided upon spaghetti, something I have quite a bit experience with. I don't think it came out quite as good as other times, but it was edible ... That night, part of the house got together again, and this time we watched Thirteen Ghosts. In quality, probably a better movie than Nurse Betty ... but still, not overly deep. Was a pretty scary (and gross) horror movie, with a bit of slapstick-kind humor. Story wasn't too deep, though, and most characters were kind of bland. Although I'll give 'em credit for having a quite realistic main character. Good-guy, 'family man', but not (even close to) perfect in that sense, and that's rare to see in movies.

Which brings us to today. No classes today, although I have some stuff to study for tomorrow. Also, I feel a bit dirty, so I'm going to take a shower soonish ... Speaking of dirty ... so is the house, and that's being fixed up today as well ... So yeah, I've got toilet-cleaning duty. ... Better than kitchen-cleaning duty, though, there's a whole layer of filth on that floor. (literaly ! ... it's all dark.)

Well, that's about it ..

... See, now, writing that wasn't too hard ... starting it was hard, but once I started, it went easy. *makes another mental note telling me to "Just DO it" ... * ... Now, let's see if I can write down some more stuff before calling it a day.

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

Gah ! ... MSN is down ...
Well, that, or it's the LAN ... or maybe just my computer, but MSN don't work too well anymore on this PC now ...

*sniffles*

... Oh, and I've got bunches to write about, but I'm procastrinating again ...