Gerko's Weblog

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Oh dear, there I stopped blogging again for too long a time. I think I'm going to have to cut this up in several entries. Anyway, Gerko's been busy-busy for a bit. Not busy enough to warrant a 'no-blogging' excuse, though. ... Where to start, where to start ?

Oh yes. My bed-upgrade. It's nice ... m-hmmmm ... yessirree, is it. It's a bit different, but I like it. Maybe it's just in my head, but I think it

Mmmm ... I got around to writing that letter to that woman in Brazil. I've been in a bit of writing mood lately, but I haven't acted on it. (Obviously ! This blog entry is weeks overdue) And I've actually thought about writing some more letters to people. I still have that urge a bit every now and then, so I'll see what I can do when I'm less busy near the end of the week//next week. I hardly ever do anything in the weekends, so I guess that's out. Had some problems figuring out the postage I had to put on the letter. Low rate goes up to 20 grams, from 20 to 50 grams, it's twice that amount. I .. think thrice above that, but I figured it wouldn't come to that anyway. ... so I tried looking on-line for finding out how many pages one can fit in an envellope before you get the higher rate, but not much luck finding it. Nuh-uh. Surely, "they" collectively banned the idea of '20 grams is x sheets of paper + envelope'. After long searches, I finally found some obscure belgian page, proclaiming that one could stuff approx. 10 sheets in something that goes up to 50 grams. ... some more searching later revealed that 80 grams is the standard weight of 1 m², which, by some math, turns into almost exactly 5 grams per sheet of paper. (Hey ! Those crazy belgians got it right) ... But I still didn't know how much the envelope weighs, nor was a I certain that the paper I used was standard 80 grams stuff.

Thankfully, the Postal Office gave me the anwsers to my question, if only indirectly. The letter weighted out at exactly 20 grams, so I could do with just one stamp. The good news about this is that I won't be worrying about the weight in the nearby future anymore (at least until I run out of these papers). The bad part is that I'm limited to three pages without 'extras' (pictures, or something). Though I suppose I could put on an extra stamp if the need arises. Hmmm ... I bought some 5 stamps. Let's see how long those will last me.

While writing is a subject ... Elise managed to write a short, rather ridiculous, story. With some help from yours truly ...
Yes, yes, that story wouldn't have seen the light of day without Good Ol' Gerko. Although I have no doubt that she could've written something else if not for me. ... She was in a writing mood, but didn't know what to write about, so I linked her to the Random Logline Generator, which eventually sprouted up something ridiculous enough to write a short piece of fiction about. As a special bonus, two characters from one of those dreams I still promised to write down some day make a cameo mention. A must read, if your dutch skills are existant. Dutchies Only ... I thought it was very funny. She really has writer's talent.

My own writing mood was back a bit when I decided to reply to some e-mails today. Joy was so nice as to contact me regarding my depression. (I'd add the link to the left if blogger would just stop being a donkey. ... Well, maybe it's fixed by now, I don't know. I'll fiddle with it tomorrow, I'm too tired now), and I replied again to her reply to my reply to that first email. (!?) ... Also, there were still 3 unanwsered "Fan e-mails" floating around my inbox, so I thought I'd be nice and reply to those, too. (Wait ... Gerko gets fanmail ? Whatever for ?)

Speaking of e-mail ... There's this weird thing going on at my old high school. "they" keep sending me the changes in the schedule intended for my sister, who, even though she signed up for the service, with her own e-mail, doesn't get 'em, at all. I could unsubscribe, but I think I'll be a nice guy and forward the changes to my sis.

...

Agh ! So much more to tell ... but I'm tired now.

Friday, March 14, 2003

w00p-w00p
Gerko just upgraded his bed.
The next time he'll be sleeping here in Vlissingen, he'll do so 10 cm (4 inches) higher above the floor than before. ... That's not going to be tonight, though, since I'm heading home-home in a little while.

Statistics on Gerko's bed :

type   : Box Spring

lenght : 6'5" (196 cm)

width  : 3'0" (91 cm)

height : 1'7½" (50 cm)

I'm in a bad mood again. I think it started last night with another turn of lonelyness, but now it's back to just plain depression ...

... ~sigh~

Mom seems to have completely lost the abilty to comfort me. Anything she does or says in that direction, I pick up as 'whining', and just pisses me off. And yet I keep trying ... Seek her attention, or even call her when I'm here in Vlissingen. Well, I think I've given up now. Seeing as how I haven't called her this time. There's a part of me that still wants to try, but it'd be futile. Either she doesn't get it, or ... maybe it's me. She just can't push those buttons anymore that make me feel better. It's been a long time since she managed to do that. Part of me wants to blame her for changing. Every time I try and get rejected it hurts and makes me mad ... I hope it's just a 'growing up' thing. That it will return in a couple of years or so ... but right now ... There really isn't anything she can do for emotional support. Sorry mom. I know this must hurt, but it's true. Don't tell me you hadn't noticed already.

... Oh, and here I'll go ranting about suicide.
Well, don't worry. It's been ages since I've given it any 'serious' thought, and I've never actually been on that brink ... but still ...
I think maybe the reason why I haven't been thinking about it the last couple of years is because the outcome scare me ... Especially when I realize they haven't changed much, and what has changed didn't change for the better. You could say that I'm thinking about it now by writing this down ... well. I don't know. It's more like writing down some memories than actually reliving // going through those thoughts again. I wonder if that's because I'm too scared to face 'em, because it's certainly not in the realm of 'no longer relevant'.

Well, my reasons for why I'd consider suicide shouldn't be a surprise to those who know me. I have no goals. There's noting I can strive for, I'm tired (oh so tired) of just going on and on and on and on without meaning. My fuel reserves are all but depleted and I just don't see any way to replenish them. There's nothing I want, very little I can draw energy from and put to good use.

Now, back when I had these thoughts the most was in High School. I was sick a lot (headache), and lost pretty much all motivation to keep going, which cost me a couple of years, but somehow, I made it eventually. Currently I'm not doing anything ... 'doing a bit of stuff that I don't really see the point of' is still better than nothing. Well, I started this school year on nothing but reserves. Obviously, that wasn't enough.

And I guess that's about it. No heart-wrenching pains I can't live it. No sense of "nobody loves me". No last cry for attention. ... just ... tired. Drained. No goals. No fuel to keep going. A sense of wanting to give up.

... Now, let's look on the other side of it ... I care about people, and I know how much it'd hurt them if I'd take my own life. You know how people say that taking, or even just thinking about taking, your own life is one of the most selfish things someone can do. Now, that reason alone is enough for me to not do it. I could never hurt those people I love like that. ... (Now, there's also a story about a great-aunt who once had a son who commited suicide, and to whom I've been some sort of 'replacement'. Just remembering that really made me ban the entire thought from my head completely)

... But then it stops. And that really scares me. I can't think of any good other reasons of why not.

Oh, I can think of a few others, but they're powerless.

Death. It's scary. Dying is scary. I don't know what will happen, and the uncertainty is just ... Well, you know. Just the plain, good ol' fear of death. ... But everyone's gotta die someday. I'll die eventually anyway. Death will find me, (and I'm actually okay with that. No wish to live eternally) and wether that happens tomorrow or 60 years from now doesn't really change anything about it. ...

And then there's that one image. That possible eventually, very vague picture of having a family at one time. That's one thing I know I do want. It's a small thing, it's pretty plain, but mostly it's too vague, too far away to hold anything. It's without substance, and I can't draw any motivation from that. I can't keep going on a remote possibility ... especially not at those times when I'm lonely/depressed and that feeling of having a relationship with anyone seems as far away as possible. ... but still, I need this image. If, (heaven forbid!) I'd actually give up on this last straw ... actually become convinced that I'd never have that ... ? ... I don't think it would take long for me to give up everything else. Take this, and I'm dead, pretty much. It may keep me from falling, but it's too vague to climb up with.

And then there's some smallish material things. Computer games, TV shows. Some movies I still want to see. But clining on to those is just too sad for words.

Sometimes I've felt that getting a relationship would wash all my problems away. But I actually know that it's bull. It'd re-energize some things, but it wouldn't solve my problems. Besides, I still don't really see it happening anytime soon. ~sigh~ ...

So ... yeah. That's what scares me. I don't have any good reasons to keep on living ... Yeah, alright. The "hurting people" one is a good reason, but it's not selfish at all. Why can't I have any selfish reason, hum ? WHY !? ... Why isn't there anything I want that I can put some energy in, huh ? ... And that's just scary. Maybe I have reasons not to die, but I don't have any reasons to live, either.

Mostly, I'm wasted capacity. I'm a nice guy. Maybe too nice ... heh, but I have a great personality. I need to remember that at times. What I also need to remember a bit more often is that I have a good set of brains. I rated the best marks on average of the entire first class of High School (~200-240 students) back then, and I managed that without any real hard study. ... :-/ Yeah, maybe it sounds like I'm touting my own horn, but .. I don't know. Maybe I need it at times. It's too easy to forget that I *am* a nice and intelligent individual. But I'm not living up to any of that. Ok, maybe I'm not wasting the 'nice' part, but ... well, it could do so much more. (And yeah, that'd include a romantic relationship.) Let's not even talk about my brain, which easily should have been doing university right now. As for my body ... I'm too fat. but aside from that, I'm not exactly unhappy with it. Sure, it's got it's problems, but it's not like I could trade it in for something else anyway, so any complaining isn't going to do any good. It's not great, but it's not so bad either.

So, again : basicly ... I don't really have any good reasons to kill myself. I don't. So for those reading this that are still worried about that : I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF, DAMMIT ! Sheesh ...

Still .... not having a good list or reasons of why to keep living ... That's scary ... I just don't have any goals ... and that's no good.

I really need to find out what I want. But I just don't know ...

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Also, blogger's still a pain and still isn't updating my template. Gah !

And just some days ago I thought I didn't have much to mention. But yesterday, I scribbled down a little list of things I've been meaning to mention on here, and adding some new stuff of today ... and even after last night's "Shorties", it's still a big list. Ooops. I should write this stuff down sooner // more often so it doesn't all pile up. Got two more-or-less lenghty rants coming up, too, so here we go with some more shorties first:

• Well, as you can read in the previous entry, Gerko's starting on his driver's license. W00. Finally. I should be getting a call from my future instructor soonish to schedule my first lesson. There's a possibility I'll be getting my lessons driving a Volkswagen New Beetle. Which just happens to be Hiza's (June's friend) dream car. So she's a bit jealous ... I promised to think about her if I get to drive that car, though. (And no, not the "Muahahaha!"-evil kind of thoughts. Nice ones.)


• Speaking of Hiza, last weekend one of our conversations turned toward the Qu'ran (Koran) and some of the sexism linked // contributed to it. Which reminded me of how I wrote some posts about that over at The Order a looooong time back. In my not so humble opinion, I sounded pretty intelligent in those posts. Hiza agreed. I had planned to post those rants on here, but I ... um ... forgot ? But now that I found 'em again, I'm going to rewrite those posts into something a bit more suitable for a blog, (not a 100% male audience, and a bit more self-contained) ... soonish. Should be interesting, I hope.


• People got to vote again yesterday. For some other thingie. More local stuff, but then that goes back up to the 'big players', too. I .. ah ... didn't go and vote. Bad Gerko. Was still in pretty bad mood, and when it got down to it that evening, I didn't really have the time left to go there. I heard the turnup for this place was just a meagerly 42% though. So I guess I wasn't alone.


• Gerko once again triumphed over stubborn technology using unconventional means ! ... I've been having some problems with my phone. I mean, I love my " "Hello......"3 band telephone clockradio ", but it's old, and is only capable of pulse signals. So when I call a number, it goes *clickety-clickety-click, click, click, clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-click, clickety-clickety-clickety-click, clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety-click* instead of *bib, beep, beep, baab, boop, bob* ... Now, normally, this doesn't bother me. I kind of like hearing the thing click for a couple of seconds after completing the number. But when I have to call to those automated phone centers, it gets annoying, because those only work on touch tone dial. (the *beep*'s) And I had to call one again this morning. ... So that didn't work. But I wouldn't be Gerko if I wasn't me, and so instead of giving up and getting a new phone, I decided I could fix the problem. And after a bit of searching online, I did. I now have a state-of-the-art software touch-tone generator. All I have to do is hold the phone close to the PC speakers, and type in the number/tones I want on my keboard. This is fun. I mean, really, really fun. Or maybe it's just the coolness factor of being able to do something with something that isn't supposed to do that something. um... yeah ... It's nifty. *grin*


• I got to put another chair together last friday night. My youngest brother, who turned 12 the saturday after, got a desk chair for his B-day too. Lucia, as she's called, didn't require any screwing, though. Not like good ol' Mandy ... Too bad. But maybe it's for the best. Maybe she'd get jealous with me screwing other girls. Can't have that. (Now, I'm just glad my mother didn't buy Rob ... I don't think I could've lived with the homosexual insinuations of that putting that together.)


• He's Daily! He's Dan! He's fat as hell and he looks like a pig. It's Daily Dan! ... Yup, Dan the Cat is back. Although not quite ready to go back to full dailies yet, Doug's back on the job of sending Dan, Ball, Mir and One-Eye on some wacky adventures. Today, they celebrate the 300th comic. Also, Doug's working/going to work on some new Keegan's Truck movies. w00tness.


• There's this song being kinda popular lately. Anyone Of Us (Stupid Mistake) ... I hate-hate-hate-hate it ! ... seriously. It just rubs me the wrong way. I suppose the fact that the first time I heard it was by looking over my sister's shoulder watching MTV (or TMF, or The Box) doesn't really help my distaste of the song. I don't get mad often, or easily, but this just makes me want to punch the guy's lights out. 'cos, it's like this : He's singing about how he cheated on his girlfriend, and that he's sorry. But it's not really his fault because things like can happen to anyone, so she should just take him back. And all that with with a merry melody, happy voice and an evil, stupid, gawdawful smile on the bastard's face. ... I really, really, really can't stand that combination. I mean ... messing up in a relationship ? Yes, it can happen. And it makes you a donkey-cavity, but ... alright. Take full responsibility, feel bad and genuinely apologize. Don't go sprouting up excuses and you can remain a good person in my eyes. But no excuses. Seriously. And certainly not with A GODDAMN HAPPY VOICE AND SMILE ON YOUR FRIGGIN' FACE THAT MAKES ME WANT TO POUND YOU TO A FRICKIN' PULP ...
  
  ... Right. Calming down. .... *phew* .. yeah, I'm better now.


• Oooh .. right. Those dreams I was going to write about .. um .. yeah. Well ... um ... I'm still procastrinating 'em. Yeah, that's it. Yup. I'm going to work on that female oppression thing first. Or write about my weekend // early this week and how I was in a bad mood

Time : unknown

So, here I am, waiting at the bus stop ... and I forgot my darn watch, so I don't know how long this is going to take me. Not that it really bothers me, it's a good thing to be writing an entry on real paper again. It's a bit chilly here, but endurable. (Although I could name some 'tropical girls' who'd be freezing to death in this weather) Anyway, I'm in town right now. I just got myself two print-outs from some registry and some photos ... mugshots. Not really sure how they turned up, I'm no real good judge on my own pictures. ... I suppose this means I'm delaying my 'job hunting' again. Ah well. I'm still waiting for the bus now. A guy just say down next to me, so I figure it won't be too long anymore. Did I tell you where I was going ? No, no yet. I'm going to some driver's school to officially sign up. They called me this morning after I signed up unofficially through their website yesterday evening and asked me to come around 'soonish' for the official deal. It's not that far located from where I live, but it's in the other direction from my student-home-place-thingie than where I'm at now. I'm lazy today, I don't feel like walking all that right now. [EDIT : Maybe I should get a bike]
... ~ still no bus ... Man, I miss my watch... OOOH ! There's something !

In the bus now, all shaking and messing up my handwriting. The bus is the same one I tried to get on earlier, but turned out I was on the wrong side of the road. oopsie. But the signs were wrong, I swear ! Driver recognised me, which was fun, I suppose. ... mmm ... I'd better start paying attention to outside. I'm not sure what my stop looks like. Never been there before ... Wish me luck in pressing that button on time.

Shorties :

• Last week, my siblings somehow managed to mess up the plug of the mouse of the home-home-PC, and it stopped working. I offered some First Aid support to my sister through MSN, enabling the numpad controlled cursor. Some time later they ripped out the mouse from the ancient P90 PC and plugged that in the old AMD 400Hz PC so they could use it normally. Last weekend I got the original mouse working again by plugging it in the USB port instead of the PS/2. Took a reboot or two, but it worked. ... Now if only that mouse wouldn't hang for 3 seconds every hour of use or so. It didn't do that before. ... mmmm ... some Mr. Fixit I am. .... Ah well.


• I owe Elise some cookies. She managed to translate some l33t-speak into proper english on her blog, and earned herself a cookie. She drives a hard bargain, though, and somehow managed to up it to three cookies when I called her yesterday. And she won't accept any but Chocolate or Cinnamon. Sheesh, you offer her one finger and she rips your entire arm off.


• Talking about Elise and blogs ... It's still a while away, but we're approaching our blogs one-year anniversaries. My first entry dates back to May 19th, 2002. Elise's first post was 10 days later, on the 29th. So we figured we'd middle it out and have a joint celebration. Turned out that the 24th this year falls in a weekend, so that'll be perfect. w00! party ... Details are non-existant as of yet, but we'll be sure to keep you posted on any updates in the plan.
• ... mmmm ... I wonder when June started her blog. I never got to see her entries from before I started mine .... her archives were // still are messed up. *sniffles*
• I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but I've been plagued by some rather annoying folks from Bahrain over MSN. It started with just one, who got my e-mail from Winamp.com, and was looking for advice on how to make a winamp skin. But he's been inviting some of his friends over, too. So now I've got 3 or 4 of 'em to handle. And I can't even tell 'em apart properly because their names don't show up properly. It's annoying. And they're really fond of me, too. They're like "Ooh! You're my best friend not from bahrain!" (only said a lot less coherent) And I'm just being polite. That's all ... I'm not lowering myself to spamfests and flames. And I guess that makes me their best friend or whatever. ... Annoying. That first guy from Bahrain is very oppressive, and keeps bugging me by asking for 'new cool programs', or sending 'em to me. He's really stuck up on those things, I figure. Also, he bugs me for websites and MSN contacts ... Now, the second one is kinda ... um ... weird. He keeps sending me 'gifts'. (Images made from MSN emoticons, that quickly clutter up the screen) ... Also, since yesterday or so, he's been seriously bugging me to search for a girlfriend for him ... Tell some girls about him, and ask 'em to contact him over MSN ... I mean ... Wha-teh-fuh ? ... That's kinda sad, if you ask me. The third one isn't really that bad ... his english is a bit better than that of the others, and he's less "DO THIS FOR ME PLEASE!", too ... All in all, more mature, but his lack of english skills and his too-quickly-grown fondness of me is still annoying. ~sigh~ ... I really don't know why I keep putting up with these guys. Did I mention they're annoying ?


• A couple of days ago, I talked to an on-line friend I haven't had contact with for quite a while. And because her on-line time in the forseeable future would still be quite limited, (and because she asked,) I kind-of-said I'd write her a letter. Eeep ... Now let's hope she won't have to wait as long as June did. (6 months ? I feel like I should apologize some more) ... Now, this woman from Brazil has been in some (from what I hear ugly) fights in some roleplaying communities I used to be a part of, which kind of resulted in most people there not liking her anymore.
  At the mention that I was going to write her a letter Brian went "ARE YOU NUTS !?" on me. He's one of those people who really don't like her. Still, I haven't experienced any of that bad stuff myself, and I don't really think it's my business, either. So I'm definatly willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. I suppose that means one letter coming up. scary
  
• It's waaaaaaaaay too bloody late to be writing this. It's past 5 am right now. I was held up by a girl from Israel who randomly messaged me on ICQ a bunch of months ago. Mmmm ... I think she's about the only person on my list as an 'exclusive'. As in ... She doesn't know anyone else on my list, and I don't know anyone else on her list. She seems to have the 'messed up sleeping schedule' thing down, and I suppose talking to each other at these hours is doing either of us any good in getting rid of that. Conversations differ from just saying 'hi' to relatively deep stuff. I think that anonimity thing does do something for that ... Well, I mean we know quite a bit about each other ... but still, it's somewhat disconnected, so it's easier to be open about stuff. So things get somewhat deep pretty soon. Aside from the "hello - hi" conversations, things tend to be mostly serious. Not a whole lot of goofing around. Tonight, she had something to get off her mind, and it took a bit long. Whoops. Not that I mind, but I'd better go get some sleep now.

Friday, March 07, 2003

Throwing a glance at blogger's status page, it seems like the problem with my template is a known one, and that it should be fixed soonish. It'd better be. Heh. Oh well. No use complaining about it, eh ?

Yesterday evening, I had something of a party. The girls on my floor were sort-of-having their joint birthday party. Not that I think anyone said "Happy Birthday" ... but. Ah well. It was fun anyway. And we didn't even make too much of a mess. (Well, a little. But nothing "OH NO!"-style.)

Today, I got up I went back to the Leen Bakker to check for a desk chair for my lil' bro, who's having his birthday tomorrow. My mom had already bought a chair at another store, but it wasn't exactly the one she wanted. So I looked around, but they were out of that model at my local one, too. Oh well. No biggie. But since I was there anyway, I decided to ask around for the ... um ... legs ? my bed's supposed to stand on. We 'kinda' lost 'em when we bought my bed about a year ago, so it's been laying on the floor since. Considering it's a boxspring, though, it's not too bad. So I asked, and they'd order some for me. Yay. In a week or so, (or 2, 3 ?) I'll be sleeping some 5 cm higher than before. How amazing is that ? It's not every day you get to permanently upgrade your bed. ... Eh ... but also, I bought a coatrack. Mmmm ... a black one. it's nice, but I don't know how long it will last. It's not too high quality, but it was cheap, so I'm not complaining ... Finally, something to hang my coats on. They'd been laying around on my chairs far too long.

Some time later my mother and sisters dropped by to admire Mandy and my new coatrack, alongside with taking out a heap of trash from my room. Did I mention I had too many darn cardboard boxes laying around ? Well, they're all gone now. Aside from one, which I sometimes use as a back-up laundry-basket. (Come to think of it, my 'normal' laundry basket isn't a laundry basket. It's more like a laundry crate.) We also took the old, poor, broken chair with us. It lasted 10 years past it's guarantee date, and served the family well all those 20 long years. He now rests in the backyard, waiting for the trash. Now if only we didn't forget to take that stupid halogen lamp (which never worked) back home, my room 'd be as 'fixed up' as it has ever been. ... Well, it could use a rough dusting job. And some vacuum cleaning. And my walls are still empty. ... mmm ... gotta find something to put up there sometime ...

Ok, blogger is seriously messing up. It's not updating my template ... Well, it saves the changes I made in it (Even though that took a couple of tries, too) ... but it's not publisinging it, and using the old kind instead.

Also, I keep getting an empty error message. And I mean, empty. no line or whatever. Bastages.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

Mmm ... blogger is being a pain in the rear again. Not publishing stuff and all ... Well, at least the error messages are different now, so ... maybe Blogger finally decided to fix the problem ... Yeah, right. ... But, eh. One can hope, right ?

I messed with some links again, adding Blast Radius back to the links.

Also, Brian Black started his own LiveJournal, too. I doubt he's reading this, though, since he has something against reading other people's blogs and journals (Just like Doug, only ... different). Well, as long as he keeps writing stuff on his Journal himself, I'll link keep that link there. He shares Elise's birthday, August 23rd. Only he's a year older and doesn't celebrate birthdays.
Note that as of now, you won't be able to comment on his entries unless you have a LiveJournal account. I think he's too lazy to find the settings button to allow comments by anonymous users.

Also, he wants me to move to a LiveJournal, but I declined for now. Even through blogger's suckyness, I kinda like it anyway.

Well, it was about time Gerko blogged again.

I suppose I got some bits of uninteresting stuff to tell, and I still have those dreams to write out. But it can wait.

Because something quite significant happened last week. So without further ado, let me tell you about Mandy.

I met her a little over a week ago. Not long after I broke my chair I went to the local Leen Bakker, which is pretty much like IKEA, just dutch-only. So I walked to the part where they show those desk chairs ... there she was, this dark girl dressed in leather. She didn't exactly catch my eye at first, so I don't suppose I could call it love on first sight ... After checking out a few chairs, though ... she was just standing there ... Turned out her name was Mandy, and it didn't take long for me to decide that I liked her. We went to the checkout together, where I paid for my new chair, and then we headed to my place. In a rather bold move, I decided to [insert euphemism for 'steal'] a shopping cart from the grocery store next door, to ease up the weight of my purchase. Mandy got in the cart, and I pushed her home. Feeling a bit guilty though, I left Mandy at the door and returned the shopping cart. The stolen good had been returned to it's rightful place in less than 15 minutes. I hurried back. To my relief, Mandy was still there, waiting for me. I took her upstairs to my room, and then I screwed her, right there and then, on the floor. Didn't even make use of the bed.

That was about a week ago. She's living in with me now, and she's here to stay. I really do like her, and she's quite comfy to sit on. What a nice chair I bought :D