Gerko's Weblog

Saturday, May 31, 2003

I have some things to blog about, but since I'm lazy, I'm postponing 'em again. Knowing myself, that pretty much always means not blogging about it at all, so I'll summarize a bit anyway.

• Spent another two days working at my dad's place. Nothing too interesting, as usual.
• Having some problems with my bicycle. In the process of fix0ring it.
• My youngest brother's participating in some national youth checkers tournament. ... He's not doing very well, though. Still, it's quite an achievement to even get there. So .. yeh. I'm proud of him nontheless.
• Saw the 1954 movie Creature from the Black Lagoon yesterday evening. Hehehehe. Bad, old movies are funny. Quite entertaining due to it's "Oh man, that's just so lame" factor. Would've been even better if I'd have been watching together with something else. Laughing at stupid things together is so much more fun than laughing at it all by yourself ...
• I was very l33t earlier this week and decyphered some page-big advertisement in the newspaper. It was kinda cool doing that, and being able to do so made me feel pretty good about myself for a 'lil while.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is great.

But I'm afraid I might be going through it a bit too fast ... Finished the entire first book yesterday. Three more to go.

Hrmmmm ..... Bane decided to give up on his blog. I'm not very happy about that. I can understand pauses and all, fine. Unscheduled breaks ? Guilty as charged. But he's planning to make it permanent by deleting the pages. ... says it's not interesting writing and ... stuff. I disagree, but apparently, that doesn't help. Bane, keep your blog, darn it ! You don't have to update reguarly, and ... ... ~sigh~
He's not listening to me. Someone else try ?

Talking about deleting pages, it seems like Doug got rid of his regular log too, and replaced all of it with "SDF" and "arggggggggggggbb" ... and without notice or whatever, too. I'm less startled by Doug doing this, though. It's quite like him to do stuff like that. I'm used to it from him. Not so with Bane. Oh well, at least Doug's still working on his dreamlog.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

*Gots his copy*

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

*goes to read*

Monday, May 26, 2003

Oh, and also, Doug's been busy writing down his dreams again. Go read.

In the meantime, I'm actually not feeling half-bad. The weather's good, and for some reason I've got a lot of energy in my body. Dunno really where it's from, but I feel like walking around and stuff, and just bearing that "I feel good" face. All of this weekend already, even. Think it started friday or thursday. Maybe even a bit earlier, but to a lesser degree.

So apparent was this change, that my mom asked me who the lucky girl was this weekend. ... Eh. As far as I can tell, I'm not exactly in love with anyone right now. (Is it even possible to be in love and not know ? It happens in movies all the time, but movies aren't notorious for their factual portrayal of Real Life) ...

But no, I'm not really sure what put me in this mood. I think the completion//coming together of my Easter Egg Project might have something to do with it, but it's not just that. Maybe it's the weather, but ... not really that either. Maybe it's because I've walked a bit more. Maybe it's the alignment of the stars (Oh, COME ON!). Maybe it's because my last driving lesson went pretty well. Maybe because I've been reading again ? ... eh ... I don't know. I'm just in a pretty good mood, and it doesn't really matter where it's coming from, now does it ?

So, anyway, my plans for tomorrow are geared up with the same dose of enthusiasm. Starting off with another driving lesson at 9:40 am will ensure me to get out of bed on time. I'll also have to drop by that Social Service place again, because I didn't manage to turn in everything I needed to. (Got there too late, wasn't able to make copies of my bank account notes. Threw the rest of the paperwork in the therefor designated mailbox.)

I 'forgot' (couldn't find it in the 2 minute window before having to leave to catch the train) my Stephen King bundle at home this morning, and the inability to read today felt 'wrong'.

Being almost done with it anyway, I started thinking about what would have to be my next book to read. My sis' has another book laying around she wants me to read, but I'm putting it off, because it is yet another horrible english-dutch translation. Thanks but no thanks, Alique, I'd rather read something english first.

Now, one thing I've meant to read for a few years already, but somehow never took the trouble to track down, is Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It's been on my list since '99 or so. Today, finally, I tracked down a copy on-line. It seems like the Library in Middelburg has a non-translated copy currently available.

Now, during my appointment with my social worker (or, one of 'em, at least. I think I have three or so. Sheesh. Am I in that much trouble ?) early last week, she suggested I'd get a library subscription, as a way of getting out more. A suggestion I wholeheartedly agree with. I spend too much time behind this screen, and I like reading, too. I think she meant the library here in Vlissingen, though.

But, my plans as of now include me going to Middelburg tomorrow, signing up for the main library there (€13 a year, I think.) and getting my grubby hands on their copy of HHGttG.

Now, from what I gather, you just have one subscription for all (or most, anyway) the libraries here in the province, so a subscription gotten at the main library in Middelburg should also be valid for the local one here in Vlissingen. And I think, also for the one in 's-Gravenpolder, although I'm not entirely sure if that one there is part of the main organisation. So no-one'd better worry about me not being able to afford that.

Depending on how good I'll feel, I'm going to walk those 6 or 7 kilometers to Middelburg. Let's see how long this good mood lasts, hum ?

Got a bit of a scare this morning when I opened some bank account notes .

Seems like I miscalculated something, because it seems that as of May 15th, I had only € 15.92 left in my account.

Mom was kind enough to transfer about half of what she still owes me for driving lessons to my bank account, though. (She and my dad 'gave' me some money for that as a graduation gift ... 2 years ago. But I never collected, because I hadn't started my driving lessons yet) That should put me in 'safe' territory for a little while again. Still, she's not too happy knowing that most of it will now go up to my rent. Nor am I, really. But to put it in perspective ... I used my own money for those driving lessons up till now. Which would've gone to the rent if she'd have ... well, you get the point.

Likewise, I'm expecting the gov' thing to come through real soon, if it hasn't already. Because of some crazy flunk somewhere in there, they seem to believe I'd have to make do with a little under € 200 a month, because I'm still under 21. (Unless there's some official 'darn good' reason for living out, I shouldn't be, according to the rules, so no extra money.) Still, it's been approved, and I should get that money soon. With an application date of Feb 28th, I should get about three months worth, which should tide me over for at least the next one.

Still, financial problems are now, not 'some time in the nearby future' anymore. I really have to start working on getting a proper job. Or heck, any job. Sheesh. And this all could've been avoided if only I'd have my head on straighter over half a year back, because I knew this was coming. But did I act ? Noooooo ... ofcourse not. Master Procastrinator, remember ?

I have to now, though. And I will.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

I said I would write a bit more about my Easter Egg Project, so here it is.

It's basicly a picture of about half my room. Yes, it really looks like that. The colors may be off a little, but there's not much to be done about that with just 16 colors. The other half of my room would have a bookcase, another desk, door, coat rack, closet, loungy chair, and a TV. Oh, and a crate of bottled carbonated water.

Programs I used to create this thing :

• MS Paint
• Notespad
• SNDREC32
• Internet Explorer

Did you know that ... ? [part I]

• ... Gerko only used the phrase "fuck" (or fucking, f*cking) 5 times on his blog ?
• Recently, quoting June.
  (Apparently, he's a "crazy fuck with no life".)
• When angry at blogger for losing an entry.
  (That "bloody f*cking piece of damned junk")
• Mentioning a movie.
  ("Fucking Åmål" ... No, that's not porn.)
• Giving up on his blog 6 weeks after starting.
  (Decided to just "Fuck it".)
• Exclaiming disbelief regarding a self-made nonsense statement.
  ("What the fuck ?", but this was while drunk.)
• ... Gerko mentioned Elise's name 77 times ?
• ... But June's only 40 times ?
• ... Sighed once more (43) than that he referred to himself as "Gerko" in the third person (42) ?
• ... These statistics do not include this entry itself ?
• Neither does it include any of the comments
• ... Gerko really wasn't that bored when he looked up those statistics ? Unbelievable, but true.

YEEHAW !



Happy Hunting !

It took me a while, but I'm all done now. ... Going to get some sleep first now, I'll post more about this later.

Well, looks like I'm going to have to come short of my promise. Still not done.

Didn't get up on time this morning, and dinner took a lot longer than what I had figured it would. Also, I kept distracting myself.

However, fear not, for I shall not rest before I have unveiled my Easter Egg Project. ... Some of the other relevant entries can wait, I guess. I'll get 'em up today, though. (And if not, I'll cheat and make some bogus entries, so it will look like I got 'em posted on time anyway :p)

Friday, May 23, 2003

Ok, so I'm done with all the graphics now. That's good. Wanted to do some more, but ... meh. My head's not co-operating. Started hurting again a bit, and I'm Oh-So-Tired. I guess it'd be better to go get some sleep now and get up on time tomorrow morning and do stuff then.

Speaking of tomorrow morning, I think I'm going to buy some groceries for breakfast ... I feel like breakfast, but I don't really have anything for it aside from crackers and stuff, so ... yeah ... I think that'd be a good plan. Would certainly wake me up, too.

Sooo ... a quick list of things to do 'tomorrow' (Friday)

• Get up at a reasonable time
• Groceries, Breakfast
• Call my dad, see if I have to work today
• HTML parts of Easter Egg Project (EEP)
• Write some more aniversary related entries (parts, anyway)
• Head home-home ?

Help ! running out of time.

No sleep for me until I get at least some things finished. See it as a punishment for my eternal procastrination, or whatever. But I intend to finish this before Saturday. My Easter Egg Project will be finished by saturday, and some of the other entries will also be ready.

... Why I'm stressing this much ? I may actually not have all that much time tomorrow. And I wasted most of today (thursday).

Eh, I'll get it done. That's a promise, to myself.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

>:-/

Got a nasty headache. Going for some non-computer time now. May be back later tonight. I 'unno. Still gotta work on some stuff here, saturday is getting close. Oh well ...

*yawns* ... Eh, tired, too.

Just spent a bit over half an hour "playing" with my left hand. Writing some silly sentences, drawing some doodles ... stuff like that.

Looks like a young kid's writing. As expected, ofcourse. Heh.
Anyway, I think it's already improved some since ... oh, I don't know. long time ago. If I keep this exercise up, I'll be ambidextrous in a year or two ...

That'd be cool.

Sleepy time now, though.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Ok ! I just did it, and replied to that spam mail thing. Needed two people to tell me to do so, though. Hehehe. I dug up and re-activated some old hotmail account I once made for some roleplaying forum, but never got around to actually use for anything. I can risk this account being signed up for hundreds of e-mailing lists.

I didn't lie too much in this e-mail, except the part about my email addy. And ofcourse, I feigned an overdose of ignorance. *grin*

Oh well, here is my reply, anyway :

To       :   sweet_096_angel@hotmail.com

From     :   nt_gerard@hotmail.com

Subject  :   Re: Hi (sorry for the late reply!)

Date     :   Tue, 20 May 2003

Monday, May 19, 2003

Well, I don't really know what else to say about today ...

As said, I'm not celebrating until Elise does ... so ... um ... yeah. Anyway, I'm starting on some relevant entries, mostly in my head so far .. but ... eh. Anyway.
Driving went reasonable today ... last time was still better though. Had some real fights with the clutch today. Kept pressing it down for no reason a lot of the time, and I think I killed the engine at least 4 times. ... Sheesh. Even at my 'lows' and at the start I didn't manage to do that ! ... For the rest it went fairly well, though. Still have to work on my watching skills ( translates to : more active, less passive ), too. Eh, but I'm repeating myself, over and over and over again.

Gave June a call today, she's kinda down 'bout a couple of things ... not sure if my phone call helped any, but ... ah well. :-/

For the rest ... I have a new appointment at that "Social Work" thing next wednesday ... And another driving lesson on Thursday. ... I'll think about cooking tomorrow. Gotta get some groceries anyway, and there's no other plans for tomorrow.

*sniffles*

Where is everyone ?

I make a couple of (IMHO) fairly interesting entries, and no-one seems to show up. ... Ah well ... I'll go post a link to this page on a couple of places today. Consider the low, low turnout, I'm not going to offer that sneak-peek. Hah. Your own fault. Neener-neener.

Today's a special day for my blog, you know that ? Exactly one year ago I hit that [post and publish] button for the first time.
This blog has been through quite a bit the last year, but I'm going to hold off on writing a sypnosis or just a general 'looking back' thing until the 24th. I'm not supposed to celebrate it today, you see. Just wait paitiently for next saturday ...

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Finished another page of my Easter Egg Project.
Just one more image to make. Then just write and tweak the interface, and I should be done! Wheee ! ... it should be good. Yeessh ... *smug look*

Hmmm ... thinking about offering a sneak-peek next monday. ... but, as said earlier, it'll ruin some of the surprise. So ? What's the public opinion on it ? Should I ?

Junk mail usually comes in only one form. "WHOA ! CHECK THIS OUT ! FOLLOW THIS LINK AND YOU'LL GET THIS*"

* : "this" : Pornography, dates, a bigger [male chicken], cheap loans, a good night's sleep, or one of countless other products you really don't want.

Sometimes, though, junk mail comes in a different shape :

From     :   "Nikki Bennett" <hot_angel_5579@aol.com>

Reply-To :   <hot_angel_5579@aol.com>

To       :   <gerko2077@hotmail.com>

Subject  :   Hi

Date     :   Thu, 8 May 2003  11:36:11 -0300

Friday, May 16, 2003

As mentioned in Tuesday's entry, I had to stop by the Driving school ("Freddy Wolf") this week to apply for my exam. Just as in a nice little story I never managed to write down earlier, I decided to walk there. I think it's about 2 or 3 kilometers from my doorstep. I was headed home-home wednesday anyway, and although it's nowhere on-route to the Vlissingen trainstation, most of the route to "Freddy Wolf" is paralleled to the rails (Although separated by water), and there's another train station about half-way.

So far so good. I'd walk some, which is always healthy, and I'd get that stuff done. However, Fate decided I needed a bit more excitement. Two or three minutes after stepping outside, it started to rain. I walked on. Not according to Fate's plan, so it started raining harder. A lot harder. Still unaware of Fate's intentions, I turned around and walked back home, to get my umbrella. (You know, that one I've been hoarding ever since I moved out here, but only used once before ?) Black, old. Decent, and with a curved handle. For some reason, I connect that umbrella with my mother rather strongly. I think it used to be hers, but I don't think she's used it in years (even before I 'confiscated' it). I can't really place it. Maybe it's the way it looks and smells, but .... hmmmm. I figure it stems from some half-faded, half-forgotten memories from days long past, back in the days me and my sister used to play around with umbrellas in-house. (Aaah. Good days)

But back to the story at hand. the rain had subdued into a milder rain by the time I returned to my home's doorway. Fate's game started dawning on me, and even before I had made my way all the three stairs up, I had some strong suspicions on what it's game would be. I got my umbrella-which-reminds-me-of-mom and headed back downstairs.

I stepped outside, and lo and behold, it had stopped raining.

It felt like being in a cartoon. Or one of those shorty Donald Duck comic strip. Fate had grown bored, turned on it's TV, watched some cartoons and thought it would be hella-funny to pull those same practical jokes on real people. (Yes, I do realize it's more probably that such cartoons were inspired (and subsequently exaggerated) by real-life events, thus making the cartoons mimicking fate, instead of the other way around. But I digress)

I had caught on to it's game, but I wasn't about to play along. I had someplace to go, and so I went, unused umbrella and all.

Fate countered by breaking the cloudy sky every now and then with a bright sun. Obviously in an attempt to make me feel stupid for carrying around that umbrella. No dice, though. No rainbows, either, even though it was real rainbow-weather, as far as I could judge.

By the time I was at my destination, I had opened the umbrella once. 'course, it only stopped some 20 drops before the sky cleared again. I don't think I could call it rain. Real rain, anyway. Rain that needs the use of rainsuits or umbrellas.

There wasn't anything too interesting going inside. I thought about making a joke along the lines of having second thoughts about getting my driver's license, "because these still work fine", and point at my feet. Dunno why I didn't. I paid a month's rent to apply for my exam, and I was on my way again. I figure it'll take me about two months before I'll take it. So I don't think I'll be driving on my own as a 19 year old. (A little under 6 weeks remaining. Oh. My. God. I'm going to be 20!?)

Still no rain ... Ofcourse not.

Then, a rather bold idea dawned on me. I was quite content with walking at that point, but didn't feel that backtracking wasn't too great a thing to do. Besides, that next train station, in Middelburg, couldn't be that much further ahead. Still, it would be rather pointless and stupid to go there, though. I didn't know the way, and it was most certainly a longer walk. I was already a bit late, too. So there really wasn't any reason to do it. I called myself an idiot, turned left, and headed for Middelburg anyway.

Fate agreed that it was a stupid thing to do, and changed the rules of it's game. Some 15 minutes into the unchartered territory, it unleashed a hailstorm on my head. If I had backtracked to the earlier train station, I would have arrived there at about the exact time that hailstorm broke out. This was fate's doing. No doubt. It had timed it precisely, just to make me feel like the fool that I was.

I managed to stay dry for the most part, though. Thanks to the half-cover of the trees, and the complete cover of my umbrella.

I bravely trudged on, and after what seemed like half an hour, (but was probably a bit less), the hailstorm stopped, and left me to continue my journey without any watery things falling from the skies. Some time later, I arrived in Middelburg, and as I made my way to the station, felt a bit proud of myself. (And stupid, but in a good way.)

According to the Dutch Railroads site, I walked some 7 kilometers in total. (For the metrically impaired : that's about 4 miles) Not a lot for most people, but it's something for me. Not a herculean performance, but still something out of the ordinary. And it felt good. I had endured fate.

Fate, however, had one last trick up it's sleeve. As I found out last night, on my way back to my student-place-thingie.

"So, Gerko ... You like to walk, hum ?"

Eh ? say what ?

"The bridge is out. Take a detour."

I'm starting to consider another option in my future career.

Healthcare is still a possibility, but I'm crawling back from that interest. I don't know ... it's just ... Eh. I have that instinctive 'care' for other people, but that's about the reach of my interest in that field. ... I'm not sure. I'll have to look into it more.

Then there's a whole slew of "Misc. Technical Studies", but I'm not really sure if I'd like those, either. Nothing I've seen so far has really caught my fancy, nor can I really imagine one that would. Despite having that technical aptitude, I think my brush with electrical engineering just turned me off. Not that it was Oh-So-Horrible, it just wasn't 'me'. Even though I scored pretty high grades. (The ones I got, anyway. I missed out on a lot.)

Philosophy is still somewhere 'out there', as an interest. Not that I think there's a lot of jobs for a 'philosopher' ... Well, aside from teaching it to other people. Heh. That's funny. There isn't that much outside that, from what I could make out. Not for 'pure' ones, anyway. It's generally seen as a nice addition, but not as a core study you can actually use for something. And I mean, that's not really too bad, if you're certain that it is what you want to do. But I'm not, so it's on the backburner now. Besides, I'd need a higher official education for being admitted. (Though, there's the possibility of doing some exam if you're 21 or older, if you don't have the proper certificates, but still want to attend. Same deal goes for some of the options below.)

But what about my other talent ? English.

I have a natural knack for this language. I just feel comfortable using it. Even without extensive exposure to it. (Although that exposure surely has increased the last years.) Mom has often kid that I must have been an english speaker in a past life.

So an english study would be a possibility. A 'pure' english study might not be the thing, as I don't think it actually teaches you any job, at all. But there's also the Education branch, and I might be interested in that. It's just a thought, ofcourse, but I think it's one worth investigating. Other people have mentioned something with english it to me before, but I never really took it seriously.

Hum. Teacher Gerko. Heh. There's some beauty in the irony of teaching a language with a name that's unpronouncable in it. I mean, I dare you. "Gerko van Nes" just doesn't sound anywhere near natural in english. If this goes through, I'll consider changing my name to "Ark Evensong" ... I'm concerned about a couple of things, though. I really don't know if I'm teacher material. I doubt if I can. For one thing, I've never been good at names. It's probably another no-no, but I'd still like to look into the option.

So, where am I going to get information about that ?

Eh, that shouldn't be too hard. I could ask Joy, who's an English teacher herself. There's difference, though. I'd be teaching a foreign language, while she teaches her native tongue. Still, there are similarities, ofcourse, and any info would good. Also, I think I made a pretty lasting impression on my own English teacher in High School, so I figure I could ask him for some information, too.

.... Looks like I have some e-mails to write.

A little over and hour ago, June called me "a crazy fuck with no life". Then she said she was "kidding". But, "no, not really" ...

Women !

...
Not that I'm about to disagree with her *g* .... Anyway, the real reason why I'm up this late is because I'm writing some blog entry, but I keep distracting myself ... But now it's getting like, really, really late. So, against my better knowledge, I'm going to finish that entry tomorrow instead. I will get it up tomorrow. That's a promise.

~tired~

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Oh, and I drank 4 bottles of carbonated, watery goodness today. I'm afraid that might be a bit excessive. Worst part is that as of now, it's just past 10 pm, and I don't really have plans to hit the sack very early tonight. So there's a danger of bottle #5 opening up.

... Hum, not sure what I'll be doing tomorrow ... Gotta stop by the Driving school sometime this week to apply for my driving exam. w00!
(that takes time, I'll get plenty more lessons before even setting the date of the exam) ... And I got a bit of work to do at my dad's place, too, so ... Well, I'll see.

Driving went pretty well again this morning. Definatly starting to get the hang of it. Still got a bunch of things to improve upon, but I'm getting there. I'll get to do some new stuff the next lesson, like 180° turns and parking. Still gotta work on looking around, and pre-planning is still not really there yet. And taking action. "Ok, it's free : GO!" is how it's supposed to be, but I'm more like
"Ooohkay. It's free. ... ... um ... go ?" a lot of the time.)

My easter egg project is coming along nicely, too. Added another page yesterday, and I hope to start on another one today, too. ... Eh, I'd probably better shut up about it, or otherwise you people are going to expect far too much from it. It's nothing too majorly great or anything. I kinda think it's cool, though, but it doesn't rank up there together with my winamp skin. (Still proud) Anyway, the major part is done, and I'm already finished with a stripped (no easter eggs) version. I pondering about revealing it early ... I could have it up in 5 minutes, but it'd spoil most of the surprise.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Because I'm a friggin' lazy bastard, the unveiling of my easter egg project is now postponed until my blog's aniversary. Officially on the 19th, but, as said earlier, it's likely to be 'celebrated' on the 24th. In the meantime I'm going to try and find a way to promote my blog. According to my Extreme Tracker stats, the amount of visitors I get is abysmally low. I'm actually a bit disappointed with those statistics. Especially when I compare 'em to Elise's approx. 25 hits a day. Ok, so she writes better, more cosistently, and the subject matter is more accessable to the random passerby. No wonder she gets more hits ... To put it in another perspective, I'm sure that my sister's blog gets even less hits than I do. But that's mostly because because she keeps the url a secret to everyone. (Ok, wrong perspective.) Still, those 2 or 3 people a day I get is not nearly enough for my tastes. I don't need that 20-figure Elise gets, but somewhere around 10 would be nice.

I figure, to change this, I'm going to have to do a couple of things.

Internally, I'm going to have to write more interesting entries. I have good ones every now and then, but most of 'em are just plain boring. (I guess this is one of those boring ones.) Externally, I'll have to take a more active stance on-line. Less passive lurking, more writing posts and leaving comments at message boards and other people's blogs.

Those are the basics, anyway. Doing it might be a bit harder to pull off, though.
Oh well, I'll see what I can do.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Hey, you know, I kinda realized blogs usually seem to involve lots of linkage to other 'cool stuff' on the web.

Now this is one cool commercial from Honda. Go check it. It's awesome. And no, this is isn't CG-enhanced. That's a real recording. Whoa. Those with a slow connection may watch out, though. It's 4 megs.

... It's not going to make me buy an Accord, though, nifty commercial or not.

Wednesday : Did some workies at my dad's place again. Entering lists into Excel is so exciting ! Went home-home after that to sort-of babysit my siblings. Sort-of, because wasn't any real reason for me to babysit 'em, considering they've stayed at home-alone in the evenings before, without problems. But since I was nearby, "why not", eh ? ...

Headed back here this afternoon, and dropped off that paperwork stuff. For the rest ... nothing much, I guess.
...

Oh, and I started reading a bit again. Look at the updated counter on the left. Be proud. (Well, or not) ... Most of the stories are fairly stereotypical, but they're written with a certain flair and style that makes for a pleasant read. I can't help but attempting to re-translate some of the phrases in the bundle back to english. It's automatic, and makes me wish I had an english copy instead of this Dutch-translated abomination. Still good, though.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Feeling better today.

I mean, not great or anything, but driving went pretty well this morning. Quite a lot better than the couple of times before that. Just going to have to keep this up and I'll get there. Haven't really done anything else today, though. Which is kinda bad. Gotta walk around for even more paperwork tomorrow morning, and after that, I'm a go to my dad's place again. Not sure if I'll stay go home-home when I'm done there or if I'm heading back to my student-place-thingie directly.

Ah well, I'll see.

Oh, and I'm kinda hungry now, but I did have dinner tonight.

~sigh~ .... I'm so fed up with doing nothing. Yet I completely lack any initiative to do anything about it. *sigh again*

Someone help me ?

pleh.

[Gerko, go get some sleep!]

But I dun' wanna ...

Oh, before I forget ...

The Order moved again, this time, probably//hopefully finally. (although it seems to be down at the moment) Updated the link. Roleplane moved too. A while ago already, but hadn't bothered to update the link. Oh, another thing I did last week was add two webcomics to my list, which included reading all of the archives. twice 3 years of almost-daily archives ... that's a lot of comics. Spent about 2-3 days to get through 'em. (each)

And hey ! not fair. That previous entry was posted on Monday. It wasn't '25 seconds past midnight' around here yet. Nuh-uh.

Instead of writing this entry, I should be getting some sleep. Seriously, I haven't been able to get out of bed early the last week or so, and I have driving lessons at 8:50 am tomorrow morning.

To recap the from my previous entry, I've mostly been at home-home. last weekend with my two brothers, before that all alone. Spent a day 'working' at my dad's place, too. Nothing too interesting. No furhter problems with the computer at home, except that it still crashes. But it's more stable overall, and a lot less sluggish, so I'm not complaining. She's old enough as it is anyway.

I think I'm getting sick. Haven't been able to sleep properly for a couple of nights, and today I've been having fits of heat and cold.
Two night back I woke up with a sore neck, and it's still not really gone. Since a week or so, my right jaw muscle ached, too. That's still there, too. Not a clue where it's from. I think it spread/is spreading to my ear, too. ... Basicly, the right side of my face feels a bit 'achey'. Left side is fine, though. Today, I'm also having bits of semi-hyperventilating. as if I'm anxious about something, and it feels like it, but there's nothing. My thoughts are spinning, not really able to hold on to anything, or at least, unable to produce anything. Dulled, depressed ?Yeah, depressed, I guess. No reason, though. 'least not one I could name. There's a few small things, but nothing major. Feeling like giving up the little things. Sit down on the stairs instead of going back upstairs to continue whatever I was doing here. Currently, I'm giving up on going to bed, even though all I'd have to do is turn off the computer, turn off the light and crawl into it, having (miraculously!) already made the bed and changed into my pyjamas. Also, I didn't have any dinner tonight. If you don't count that packet of crackers. Oh, sure, I could've made some noodles, but I'm not hungry anyway.

...

Hum, it kinda feels like my mind and body are trying to shrug off something, but it's not really working. Nor did they bother to inform the concious part of my brain as to what it's trying to shrug off.

I guess I'd better go get that sleep now. Wouldn't want to waste €70 tomorrow morning. (Can't cancel that lesson. Well, I could, but I'd still have to pay for it.)